Unlikely Friends to a Martial Artist

1. Downy Wrinkle Releaser- for when you just don't have time to press your gi.
2. Moleskin- for stick-to-your-foot cushiness.
3. Febreeze- when you remember you forgot to wash your gi, and it's 10 minutes before class.
4. the perfect pushup bars- nice on your hands, and help you get in shape.
5. boxing hand wraps- better than "bag gloves"
6. travel sized nail clippers- for short nails as a common courtesy to your fellow gym mates
7. Rite Aid toe cushions- meant for bunions, they work as a surprisingly good toe splint, and did I mention they are cushy?
8. Sambo shoes- for those special sketchy-looking dojo floors/ petri dish for ringworm.
9. bleach + H20- hurray for disease control!
10. dollar store mesh laundry bag- for when $80 is simply too much to pay for to protect your gear.
11. Dixie Cups- why not?
12. Lidocaine patches- it lasts for 12 hours!
13. Travel size Tylenol- just because.
14. pens- because you always gotta write something down.
15. pilates weighted ball- because most kids wouldn't know the meaning of chi if it hit them in the face, a nylon weighted ball in their hands makes those shitty presses in their katas that they do a hell of a lot harder to accomplish.
16. cosmic brownies- when you're about to crash from low sugar levels
17. Tide pen- see #16.
18. tissues- because inevitably, your nose runs whenever some kid is tying up the bathroom.
19. a pocket calendar- for figuring out if you're working on training days.
20. more of #16 and 17.