Club Soda not Seals

Batta and I discovered what the end result would be if you gave a padded weapon to an overstressed chiro. student- clubbing. At least, that's what we call improper use of a goshinken stick. Poor Batta was so excited over his first rank in iai (yay!) that he jumped at the opportunity to spar me on monday. The former boxer that he is, he still is in the mindset that harder is better, and after Head Sensei scolded him for hitting too hard and not making proper cuts, Batta bought me ice cream and all is forgiven.

I have started to learn kururunfa, but to no avail, because now every other monday there's a blackbelt weapons class that Head Sensei runs during regular class and we get stuck with Happy. Argh...argh...ARGH. Happy cannot teach adults- enough said. He'd be overjoyed to teach little kids because anyone over the age of 4 can tell he doesn't practice. Half of the time he doesn't know his upper level stuff, and the stuff he does know enough to teach, he does wrong. And his grasp on anatomy and Japanese.....*shutter*.

I don't know when to expect my black belt test to be. It very well could happen that with school and Lurch and Frankenstein on my heels, that they could test first- which is just as well- I don't want to share my special day anyway.

Times, they are a training...again

Like I said, much has happened. This is part two.

You know when May hits, that things around school pick up again. The tournament is over, and rankings begin again. People start going on vacations, we start thinking about cutting goza. The cahnge around the school itself is big. We got two new flooring sections; one wood, one (not so) squishy mat squares. The wood is slippery, gets dirty easily, and has the kids trying to stomp their feet in an effort to make the loudest noise possible. The mats are coated in something extra slippery. Goth kid took a mile slide when we threw him. They also stink like new car- not that it's a bad smell, but it's pungent. I have to say it does look nice though.


The biggest change is that head honcho sensei has retired his head honcho-y title. He'll still be around, misspelling Japanese and driving us crazy with his 20,000 move reperetoire, no doubt. The number one guy took his title, and Head sensei has a new title- but it means nothing in the scope of this blog. He is still our Head Sensei :)


The kamidana is going to be moved to new wall, which means instead of saying "joseki, rei." we'll have to say something else....if that's what'll happen. Oh, and by the way- I got my last stripe! YAY! *happy Josie dance!* That means I am now an ikkyu, and will now being training for black belt. Yay!

Bork! The results of the tournament

I'm writing two entries today since so much has happened. This is part one.

The tournament was just as long and ass-blistering as it has always been, but this year I did my best showing yet. First off, I spent four hours waiting for my first event, which was empty hand kata. There were only two other people in the 18+ brown belt division (thank God!), and they were two really nice people from an isshin-ryu school. Upon realizing we were the only ones, we rejoiced because we were all getting a medal. And- continuing the tradition of going first- I did my empi kata. My dad recorded half of it on my phone, and although the speed and sharpness is there, I noticed I bounced in and out of stances somewhat. The first guy had a much harder and little bit longer kata, and was very quick and crisp. I was hoping when he hit a snag he'd lose some concentration but he recovered quickly. It was one of those mistakes you don't catch unless you are a martial artist yourself. The second guy has the same kata, but was a little slow. I thought I probably finished third, but to my surprise I finished second, with a range of 9.o-9.5- highest scores yet.

Then, we were ready for sparring. I was asked several times whether or not I was okay sparring with the boys. Now, I saw the women's black belt division later in the day. I am glad I sparred the guys! A couple of black belts from other schools stuck around to see if I'd get hammered. Because there were three of us, we drew cards to see who'd sit out, and that was me. Wee, best thing ever. I realized right away the guy who won kata was the better sparrer by far. The other guy tried a spinning back kick on him, and kicked him in the balls. I think he thought since he originally hit air, that he was in the armpit, so he lifted up the kick, raising the poor ball-squished guy off the floor. He walked it off....didn't know if he was more hurt or embarrassed, and he continued to easily win the fight. So I'm up and facing the loser, which I dispense with quickly 3-0. I think I scored backfists on all three points. The next fight was for first. I can't remember who scored first, but it was back and forth until it was 2-2. I got him with a backfist but he scored a kick to the ribs faster. Rats! But overall I was pleased. Quite a few people came up to me afterwards and said I did a good job. Yay! So I got another silver.

Several hours later....they should really KILL SELF DEFENSE DIVISION! Before that though, there was weapons division. I choose not to do it because I really wasn't prepared for it. Some girl (the same I conplained about last year doing a leglock on someone twice her size) brought a naginata. A big damn naginata of which she had no realization of where her cutting edge was. It was obvious her coach put her up to it because it was "cool" and "different". And dammit, she won. Our benevolent matriarch/dictator was grading her ring and was the only judge who I knew understood sword work, so she gave her a whole point lower than everyone else. Thank God someone else was appalled. After that, this little girl who sat next my dad and I (and had been whining forever that her ass hurt- I don't blame her) was asked to draw the winning tickets for the money prize drawings that the benevolent matriarch/dictator forces us to sell every year. For the first time, people from our school actually won something. Our benevolent matriarch/dictator won $50, her husband won $25, and Sarge's kid won the top $100 prize. I laughed when they read his name. The parent of the whiny child asked me why, and I told him it was a ten year old kid. He snorted and said, "Figures. I need gas to get home, and he'll probably spend it on video games and candy." Candy up, Sarge's kid.

Meanwhile, the kiddie blackbelt rink (which, again, they did not split up between children and teens) was going on. The little senseis are getting used to not winning anymore. Wheezy kid got a 4th in weapons. Doppleganger, despite being young enough to compete in the kiddie ranks entered herself into the adult ring and got creamed. Finally, team kata is called and I get there and wait for Doppleganger, who is waiting for sparring at her ring to end. I informed the judge who thoughtfully put my card at the bottom of the pile. As I wait with Goth kid and the older of the little senseis (they are doing the same kata they did last year), I realize that another school had the idea of competing of a guaranteed medal. A group of 6 seven-year-olds went first. They were infectiously cute-not very together, but cute. Then two kids doing 27 movements. Ouch. Then, a group of slightly older kids did a kata from the same school as the little ones. As Goth kid and his partner start, Doppleganger finally gets there. We went last and did empi. Some asshole gave us a low 7. Other than that, it was pretty much cut and dry. We placed 4th, Goth kid and little sensei 3rd, teen kids 2nd, and the giant group of little kids placed 1st (no surprise).

That was the end. We all got together to talk about it. Goth kid rambled about...something. The smaller little sensei- (which, you know, out of respect for watching so many "Flavor of Love" shows, I'm gonna call those kids Thing 1 and Thing 2) Thing 2 made a very astute comment- we can't win at our own tournament. He's right, you know.