kiai on the last motion, please

My work has hit a new low. I found my sister is now going to join me at work, so now my martial arts is my only thing that isn't trampled upon by my family. It's a bad thing, I have found, to let it define me, because every bad training day seems to sink me for days. I haven't been working iai ans much as I should. I've been really going through the motions. Lastsaturday I went to an iai clinic at a sister dojo. I never felt so stupid. I felt like I was getting outclassed by these beginner tikes. I cut too- not well, either. the 9 year old cut better. Yay, another prodigy- black belt by ten, quit by 12. Anyways, I've been trying to keep it in perspective. My sensei told me that the teacher at the sister dojo really teaches much differently than I'm used to. If I can, I'll see if I can get a video clip of my cutting my sensei took- though, he didn't get the good cuts. On monday, it was just me and Nerdverd. I guess this contributes to my slacking too- the fact that nobody comes to class regularly. Even if I could be ranked at this point, there is nobody to work with at my current rank now, so what's the point. We did #3 kumitachi almost all class, and probably by next class Nerdverd will forget it. I wish I wasn't the only one who took training seriously. Karate seems to prove even more of a challenge keeping focus. I want to ring the necks of those little ewok children everyday. Why does it take 10 mintues to get a drink? 15 minutes to change? I guess I've gotten old, or maybe it's the fact I don't feel special anymore.