So Saturday rolls around. I didn't particularly want to get up, but I knew I had to. So I went, and it was mass confusion as usual, and Head Honcho sensei was late, as usual. The tests themselves were crazy. Freckles almost passed out as was doing horrible on one of his katas. As much as I like Freckles he probably should have failed. Half way through his self defense he lost it big time and Head Honcho sensei almost stopped the test. Then, Momma Freckles blows up at him and it quickly spiraled out of control. The rest of us just sit there with our mouths open, and I hear Sarge whispering to her little Greenie "Don't worry, Mommy will never embarrass you like that". Freckles's dad luckily had enough sense to stay out of it. Luckily, Head Honcho sensei was able to calm her down and the test continued. So Eraserhead did his test, and although it was considerably better, he was anything to write home about. Oh, and I had to uke because the tween-aged higher ranks were horrible! Horrible, horrible, horrible ukes! The whole self defense portion of both tests were giant wrestling matches. Three people (myself included) got smacked good. Freckles wretched my middle finger and Eraserhead kneed me in the back and gave me a big bluish present on my arm. Wheezy kid got drilled and spent the rest of the day crying (for once, I don't blame him). But they got their belts anyway...*sigh* Oh, I also forgot to mention that during this test the two highest ranks after these guys, Owl, one Fuzzy Head Twin, and Lazy Girl, got yelled at again (they were yelled at the last test for stupid behavior). Owl was on the mats, Lazy's phone went off, and that twin tried to volunteer to show that he could do something better than the kids testing. Skittles, by the way, sat pretty quiet. Autism, Shmautism. They should use the effort going into curing that and use it to cure Bratism.
So then, Short Sensei tests for ni-dan and I wanted to watch, but by then everyone is starving, so we head out to the Chinese Restaurant. I sat with Sarge, her kid, Dopplegagger, and Tank. Tank, by the way, is now a purple belt *yay!*. It was nice to talk with them- they are like old friends, and especially now with Verizon Guy gone, training is lonely without them. After that, the aiki clinic happened. I was rather disappointed to be honest. There wasn't enough mat space, and we didn't go over anything new- except that we've been doing nukite dori wrong for the last year. I was super tired too, and I didn't want to do anything after a while. When I got home, I felt exhausted.
So, today rolls around and I get up for iai clinic. Head Honcho sensei is late...again. We bow in, and realize suddenly, this is not going to be a typical clinic. Apparently Head Sensei and Head Honcho sensei had been talking and they decided that since Head Honcho sensei was down, that they would rank a whole bunch of people. Yikes. So the rest of us are working by ourselves, while Head Honcho's uchideshi runs back and forth between us. I spend most of the time with this sensei of ours, whom I will call Happy (for no other purpose than to assign yet another dwarf as a nickname), and we work kumitachi #5. Good practice, I suppose. I was able to steal sword sensei long enough to go over #7 *yay!*. Somewhere during there, the Benevolent Dictator and I talked with a perspective student about iai, trying to sound happy, but not so much that we are used car salesmen. She seemed more interested in aiki, though. It was pretty uneventful- except maybe Sneezy's minor sugar crash- until Head Sensei comes over to me and says "get your book". Get my book?! For what?
For ni-dan, apparently. After Head Honcho sensei looked at the kyus, he wanted to see the lower dans. I showed him what I knew, and he said I looked smooth...and a whole bunch of other nice things. He had Goth Kid come over and watch me do a draw. I felt pretty good about myself, until he asked me to show him my left handed draws. Yikes, they were bad. They were one of those things I didn't practice while at school. But everything else was okay. I even showed off my Katori katas. By this time, my hip was killing me, but I still had to do goshin ken fighting with (out of my own stupidity) Cigarette Man and Doc...at the same time. But, I did okay. So, Head Honcho sensei says to me afterwards that my ranking was "overdue". That was nice to hear. So now I am a ni-dan in iai. Odd, isn't it? So, here are updated ranks for iai class:
- Benevolent Matriarch/Dictator- yon dan (what about her husband? hmm)
- Happy- San dan
- me- ni dan
- little senseis- sho dan
- Doc, Sneezy, Cigarette Man- ikkyu
- Goth Kid- ni-kyu
- little senseis' mom- yon-kyu
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