I'm increasingly feeling like I'm just on the bottom of the training totem pole. I don't know if it's me becoming more aware of what I don't know, or frustration from not being able to use what I know. I'm sure that makes no sense at all. I'm really tired and I've lost direction completely. I'm not sure if I am going to the tournament now. My kata still has a lot of problems, and my sparring is just as bad as ever. Head sensei let me borrow some sparring equipment so I can start sparring with everyone. I have since sparred twice. It's been a year since I sparred regularly- it's just not my school's thing. I got my ass kicked by a purple belt, and barely won a match with a thirteen year old brown belt. I just don't have any confidence in my kicks to use them, and it makes me a sitting duck. I don't wanna get my ass kicked by some professional tae-kwon-do sparring opponent. Bah. Other than that, not much going on. There's too many brown belts. Two of them have been a brown belt for like two years because they don't feel like coming everyday. What sucks is that they'll all have to be prepared for black belt at the same time. And there are a million orange belts now. Can't wait until one or all of those little brats pass me. In other news, the sakura trees in front of my dad's workplace have bloomed. Gotta love New York, where cherry blossom season's three weeks late.
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