Slapped in the Face with an Oar-shaped Reality

Well, here we are, attempting to do stuff for the tourney, which...as I say every year, I don't want to do, and I always end up doing it anyway. This year, I'm only entering two events- weapons and self defense. I don't care to do any more.

I am so tired with work and school, that martial arts hasn't been too on the forefront, despite te fact that I may or may not have an aiki test soon. I just don't care and I don't think anyone else does either. Today I worked with Batta for review, and I am not nearly where I should be. I really would like some help on this test, but I don't think I will get it any time soon. The aiki class is ballooning again, and karate is just too crowded.

The oar kata is fun, but a lot of work. I hope I will be able to be half-way competent with it for the tourney, considering I will be the first person ever in the system to do it at competition. It should be interesting to see how many dirty looks I get for this one.

Let's see...Sarge's kid got ranked, Sprinkles, Meatball...and that's all I really care about. Rankings smankings- Frankenstein's brother Lil' Stein almost got flatten by my eku, and again by two bos, by not watching where the hell he was going. Like his brother, he is an idiot. Frankenstein could not teach a Lemming to commit suicide. Sarge actually pleaded with me to take adults. I did kata work- *sigh* my katas are quickly running away from me. I forgot ichi-bo. Boo.

Penguins are indeed vicious ninja birds

Not much to write here. I have been sick and as a result, haven't been to class regularly. Work still sucks, and I am still waiting for a date for my aiki test. The dojo is cleaner though- thanks to the clean up day and a shoe rack from Spam, it actually looks like a decent place to train where you won't get allergic reactions. It remains to be seen how long this cleanliness will last. The floor is already nasty.

I'm juggling the idea of the tourney this year. As usual, I say I don't wanna go but something always makes me go anyway. I am not in a good position to compete this year, considering Jion isn't exactly a tournament kata, and neither is my bo kata I am working on. I just feel blah about the whole thing, really.

The Year of the Mama, and a clean dojo

It may be the year of Ox according to Chinese calendars, but at our school, Sarge has proclaimed it to be the year of the Mama. And so far, it is fulfilling that ideal. Sarge just had fun getting drunk in Pittsburgh, leaving her son to stay for clean up day.

I have to say, as I always do, I got way in over my head, but judging by the condition of the place when we started, cleaning day was overdue. The poor kids that got the storage are probably did the most work- the storage area is an unofficial changing room where decades of stuff has been piled into. It was covered in mold. Eww. Forget about the spike in allergies, that shit could have killed us. Thankfully, I had gloves and masks on hand. Batta braved the bathroom, and Spam took evidence of the fact that I actually managed to get kids to clean. The sad thing about it is, the older juniors are slower than shit! The 7 year-olds zipped through two mats in the time it took them to complete a side of one. And Meatball...ah, poor Meatball. His short stature and his OCD cleaning style meant that he was washing the same mirror for twenty minutes.

All in all, it wasn't bad. We toasted the occasion with sake and sprite, and that was it. Finally I can rest again...

Yuck.

I can't keep my joints together. This is what I have been thinking all week. I'm not sure if it's the stress of everything else in my life, or what, but my body is breaking down without fail. Josie fall down, go boom. Collagen Fail.
Right now that bad big toe is roaring its ugly head. I stubbed it today and now it's all puffy, blue, and sore. I suspect it is left over from June when I hyper-extended it during tai otoshi. I hate the fact that I can't heal. A couple days before, my hip started to hurt, and I had Batta performing a chiro adjustment in the middle of class, with sword weilding onlookers oogling the mirrors for a better look. How embarrassing! It remains to be seen whether or not my lighter weapons plan will actually work- still have to replace my sai and bo, but all in good time.
In an effort to cheer myse;f up, I am going to list things on here that I want to buy this year. Also, this may prevent me from buying other things I don't need, like...other martial arts stuff. :)

what I want for all 2009 holidays, including valentine's, easter, memorial day, birthday, cookie day, and such.

1) a bo case
- because I cannot carry this and look inconspicuous.
-It's also really hard to carry this and a sword case.

2) A jo
-because being an aiki student for 5+ years, i should probably have one of these, no? I mean 31 no Jo is a staple of almost all aiki schools. Except ours


3) this sweet weapons bag from Ronin
- I can stuff EVERYTHING into that. And, it has wheels! :)



4) a baby bulldog
-why not?

Out with the Old, in with the New- Betch-es!

Okay, so with the new year is new problems, Number one, I am broke, Number two, nobody wants to pull their weight anymore. Seriously, how hard is it to replace toilet paper in the bathroom? And how much effort does it take to pick up your own shit? I mean, really now. As the benevolent matriarch/dictator so heavenly put it- "I'm not your mother."

So what is one autistic and bored black belt with one screw loose from her job end up doing? Well, organize a school cleaning event, of course! Now I am in way, way, WAY over my head. Suffice to say, trying to get 50 people to agree to do anything on the same day is turning out to be crazy. But anyway, the bitches gotta clean. That's all there is to it. It's a wonder we all don't have sinus infections from the 4 inches of dust collecting on everything from bos that haven't left the school in 15 years, to jackets of kids that don't go here anymore. Bleh!

And, so it goes. Let's see what has happened since the last entry...Batta and Spam got ranked in karate. Doppelganger is now using tonfa and sucks at it. It's a really alarming thing when Wheezy Kid says, "Dude...I better get outta the way". What else? Oh, Doc gave me Lidocaine patches for my bad hip. Horray for pain management!

"The fairytale is over; welcome to real life!"

In many ways, this quote sums up all that was this past year- thinking that you're finally getting the hang of something, and then, it all screws you over.

A lot of things have happened since I left. Many are not too terribly surprising- Wheezy Kid throwing his tonfa repeatedly into the wall, Goth kid cutting the "nice new floor", etc. There have been some good things. Big T and his family came back. That was cool. Overall, this is what I call a "rebuilding year".

I've been trying to fight the negativity and roll with the punches as best I can. I've been going over a lot of new katas, and in the process, I'm actually starting to learn something. Some of the new katas include a bo kata, a tonfa kata, one empt hand kata, and a sword kata called Junto. I have been spending more time on karate thanks to my black belt test this year, and though it wasn't a total waste, I've let things go. I haven't worked sword as much as I've wanted to, and aiki...don't even get me started.

The biggest thing I've learned is that black belt really doesn't mean shit unless you have a big head about it (in which case, you being sucking). Doppelganger has developed a sassy mouth that will soon get her punched out by a ten year old in Japan, as she is going to study there. The problems I have with her are compounded by the fact that she actually thinks she's on par with the bigger students in class (because, clearly, rank is an ultimate indication of skill). The problem with this line of thought is she's a crybaby that can't do pushups or falls....kinda like....Wheezy Kid. So the battle continues over what a black belt actually should be, but I also know I can proscribe to higher pursuits than whining about getting tapped in sparring or being forced to do a proper pushup. My goal is to raise a whole bunch of yellow, orange, and green belts (and possibly a foxhound) that can kick all the kiddie's asses. Sweet, sweet revenge. Yum.

I'm going to set up some training goals for myself this year.

• I want to be able to do ten good pull-ups easily.

• I'd like to do 30 military pushups. Right now I can do 12 max.


• I want to practice with my sword at least 4 times a week, my bo 6 times a week, and my tonfa 3 times a week.


• I want to learn and polish the eku kata enough to take it to a tournament.


• I want to spar more with Batta.

And, as always, I have listed my New Year's Predictions:

• Most likely to quit in the coming year- Lurch


• Most likely to get a bitchslap from me- A girl that is related (kinda) to Thing 1 and 2, but instead of calling her Thing 3, I will call her Snotball.


• The people I'd like to see get ranked- Batta, yes, but also Sarge


• Coolest thing that could happen to the school- a massive cleanout of upper ranked children


• The winners of the "you still suck" award will be- Happy sensei, Wheezy Kid, etc.

I have named some new people these past few months; one of which I said was Snotball. She has a friend, I call her Snotshadow. This girl can't think for herself when Snotball isn't there, so hence the name. I have a kid I'll call Meatball...for obvious reasons. I actually like Meatball. He reminds me kids are supposed to have a soul. Then there is Sprinkles, Grumpy, and Lil' Stein (Frankenstein's brother)- al yellow-bellies at the moment. There's a new adult white belt which I will call Poofball, but don't honestly think she will stay. And then....there is Delusional Man. He thinks he is God's gift to martial arts, despite the fact he hasn't trained in 20 years. No nothing changes in that amount of time...like you're now 40...and slow...and overweight. We also have a VERY big guy in aiki...who I have mentioned before but rarely, as he is huge. He dwarfs Semi, so I have call him...what's bigger than a semi?...Cruiseship.

So that's basically it for now. Long entry, sorry. But you know, that's how I roll. Mmm, cookie batter rolls.

UPDATE ON RANK

iai

• ni-dan- me, Things 1 and 2

• sho-dan- Doc, Goth Kid


• san-kyu- Batta


• yonkyu- Spam


• mu- Delusional Man

aiki ( I have to remind myself what the hell is going on here, because I'm not sure ANYONE knows who ranks where)

• sho-dan- Benevolent Matriarch/Dictator

• Ikkyu- me


• ni-kyu- Goth Kid


• san kyu (?)- Semi


• yonkyu- Goofy (Semi's buddy), Sarge, Batta, Things 1 and 2


• mu- several kids who float in and out of the class when they feel like it

karate

• shodan- me and Doppleganger


• baby nidan ('cause, let's face it, a kid capable of "ni dan" level needs to be on an adult book) - Thing 1 and 2


• baby shodan- Frankenstein, Lurch, Wheezy Kid


• brown- (what the hell did I name that kid? how about...Foobar)


• Purple with stripe- Sarge's Kid


• Purple- Snotball and Snotshadow


• Green with Stripe- Little T


• Green- Big T, Goth kid


• Orange- Batta


• Yellow- Sprinkles, Lil' Stein, Grumpy, Meatball


• White- Spam, Delusional Man, Poofball, and (what the hell should I name Doppelganger's guy, hm? How about...) Pizza the Hut

RETURN OF THE KUKI!

Hello everyone,
I didn't know until recently people actually read this blog. Some of you asked what happened, and I wanted to say that I really didn't want to stop writing in the first place. Since achieving black belt, I wanted to take some time off to reflect on things as well as get my personal life back in order. I'm dropping this note to you to say that "The Ancient Art of Kuki-Do" will be back January 2009. Until then, entertain yourself with with my memoir-in-progress, "Memoirs of a Cookie".
Thanks for reading,
J.

Bork? The End of Kuki-Do?

I have started a new project to coincide with the new chapter in my martial arts life. I'm starting on a memoir. Not sure yet if my life is worth reading, but it's more of a cathartic process for me. It'll be good to see how far I've come over these past few years.

Until something big happens, or unless there is something horrifically amusing to share, I probably won't be writing in here for a while. I want time to change my outlook, so to speak, which as of now isn't so positive. If you are interested in the meantime, I am posting my rough draft of Memoirs of a Cookie- a martial arts story. I provided the link at the bottom left. Enjoy. And not to fear. This isn't the end. It is only the beginning...of more cookies.

We did it, koala.

It still doesn't seem real to me. And it wasn't the best test that I could have done. but it's done. I now have a black belt in karate. It's strange. Suddenly, I'm no longer that "kinda sensei"- that title belongs to Goth Kid now. I'm at the fork in the road.

I cannot say for sure what went through my head, and I have waited a couple of days to sort out my thoughts so I can reflect on the experience properly, but I can't I'm drawing a blank. It's if as this time, the shodan test meant less than my first one. I feel unfulfilled in a sense. Maybe it was because Batta and my dad didn't come (and neither did half of the people expected), or maybe it was because of my broken foot, but the whole experience feels unfinished. Was this the big moment in everyone's martial arts career? I hope not. I hope as everyone says, this is just the beginning, and there is more down the road. We shall see.

I guess the thing that concerns me is that I don't really feel proud of myself for the achievement that I worked so hard for. It makes me sad. It's over- it's not like I get a second stab at it, not that I'd want to. Collectively, I really do think I've earned this. It's been 4+ years of blood, sweat, sprains, obscenities, tears, agrravations, and bumbles to get to this point. I wish I could have done better- that's the thing, I guess. I wish a lot of thing had been different. But here I sit, hugging my Karate Koala which a friend of mine gave me when I started this journey, and I remember why this experience was so important. Given all of these setbacks, I have endured. And sometimes in life, that is the toughest thing to do. So I dedicate this experience to those who have helped me get there; all the people who taught me, who did it before, who never got to do it, who are going to do it. This is for you.

A much heartfelt thank you to: my Batta, Verizon Guy, the Applebee's guy (I forgive you for leaving a week after you hit this milestone.) my favorite mall music store worker (who was weeks away from this milestone- I hope you found the happiness and peace of mind in whatever you chose to do that you could not find in martial arts), The T family, Tank, Sarge, Cigarette Man, Wally, the Benevolent Matriarch/Dictator (to whom I credit my teaching style), Peanut, Doppleganger, Goth Kid, Skittles, Wheezy Kid, all the professional children I have ever taught, Beagle, Head Sensei, Head Honcho sensei, Sword Sensei, Short Sensei, Spam, Doc and Sneezy, certain two college people (who I blame for ALL of this martial arts stuff!), my teachers from college, my friend martial artists from chiro college (for keeping me sane), and yes, even you, Nerdverd (whereever you are) AND EVERYONE ELSE I HAVE EVER MENTIONED IN THIS BLOG.

THANK YOU.

Eep.

Well, here I am. It's 86 degrees, the same temp as it will be for my test. I'm tired, my foot aches, and I really want to get out of this house before I eat my fingers. Nothing more to say- it's gametime. The gifts are all done, the katas all but perfected. All I need to do today is check my nerves.

Bork! T minus 4 days...

I have had a very long summer. In spite of the fact I was crazy enough to be in school all summer, I also have been studying for my test, which is now just four days away. I revisit my question that I have asked myself- what does all of this mean? Is it the measurement of confidence, or just a stepping stone? No doubt, one black belt does little to change your abilities or competence as a teacher, but the moment that black piece of cloth goes on.... suddenly the whole rest of the world knows what you've worked for.

This time is different. My family is actually excited at the prospect of me getting a belt in an art they actually can explain to their friends. Is this the honor part of it? It's no secret that my family, nor the little karate kids understand or respect the fact that I am already at blackbelt level in iai. Now, when they say "sensei", they will actually mean it. As trivial as this is, I can't deny getting a certain amount of satisfaction with that.

This week I've been drilling katas, self defense, aiki, everything I need for my test. I get the sense that there is nothing more (besides conditioning) that I can do. And pray that my family will actually wake up on Saturday.

What's white, wears black and glasses, and looks like a chihuahua in a blender?

Give up? It's Wheezy Kid during jumping jacks! Who the fuck thinks it's a good idea to give a black belt to a kid who is not even coordinated enough to do a fucking jumping jack!?! I digress.

These past couple weeks have been taken up with finals at school, healing my foot, and trying to study for karate. To be honest, the closer I am to my test, the less interested I am getting for it. Perhaps it's stress or desensitation, or the fact that Thing 1 is reviewing aiki for my test that I taught him?!? Could be that. Or it could be I'm simply too tired to care.

Batta and I have ensnared a new mat (mat? No, I mean "uke") to come to class with us. For lack of any inspiration for what to call him, I shall call him Spam. We are teaching Spam the art of kumitachi, to which Batta is beginning to learn how to teach (small doses, Batta). It is fun- far more fun than being critiqued by little brats...or do I dare say, throwing them?....no, I take that back. It's more fun throwing kids. >:)

In other news, Sarge gave us a beautiful new table. It is already filled with Batta's notes and junk food. Long live finals regimine. Long live punting Wheezy Kid.

Happy 100th post!

Yay! I did it! I've actually kept up a blog!

I've been taking time to re-evaluate what black belt means for me. To be so close to my test date is unnerving. I feel (as dumb as this sounds, that an end is coming. I'm almost grieving in a sense. I don't really know why- I have been a "sensei" since 2006, and I have always been conscious of the fact the color of belt is no indication of the amount of respect you deserve. But, in any case, I do feel an odd sense of "finally...I am here."

I have lots of plans for after my test. I want to concentrate on helping Batta get up to as high as he wants to get, and helping his friend (whom is starting on Saturday- I'll think of a name) in sword. I also want to try to encourage the adults on our class to stay....even Goth Kid *argh*. I'm not sure much will change after I get black belt. I imagine it won't, but it's nice to have a pat on the back once in a while.

Happy Tanabata!

I have done this holiday for 2 years now- not sure if it's helped spark the kiddies into being appreciative of other cultures, but...it was a mild success. I had a head start on the origami, and the dorayaki was made way easier thanks to pre-made mini pancakes...yum. And once again. I forgot to take pictures. Bah.

Karate and school have been at odds quite a bit, and my slow-healing toe is not making things easier. I study in chunks when I can. And now that it's stopped raining every day and the weather is actually quite nice, I have been getting out with my sword. It's been relaxing, even if I can't get out of iai goshi without pain :).

Being away from martial arts during the week has left me out of the loop for most things. Doc is supposed to be testing for shodan but Head Sensei was reviewing Sneezy too- not sure if this means he's testing...I'll have to mak another stamp (urgh).

What the hell is an Ultimate Blackbelt?

Okay, so I am experiencing some anxiety with school and the black belt test coming up officially on Agust 23rd. With exactly 55 days left until my test, I have been snooping around the net and came across this: Test Requirements for Ultimate Blackbelt. The UBB program is, in my opinion, a pyramid scheme, since I don't think any self improvement program should stagnate your wallet. However, I think some of these requirements are a good idea....and some aren't. I'll list them here.

Physical Requirements

• 100,000 Push Ups and Crunches 50,000 each: 125 push-ups and 125 abdominal exercises a day – or if injured, an equivalent exercise. Okay, this I should be doing anyway. Gotta build up that cardio.

• 1000 Repetitions of a Single Form 2.5 reps a day for 395 days. Again, another thing I should be doing. This exercise would be good with Taikyoko Shodan, since that is literally the foundation (strong foundation= good house, right?)

• 1000 Rounds of Sparring2.5 rounds of any form of sparring a day for 395 days. Other than spar with Batta? Hmm. This is a toughy. Not only is my toe already fucked up but my choices of sparring (when I can, which is on Saturdays) is kids half my height. I think I will spar with Batta a couple times a week. It's all I have time (and sanity) for.

• 1000 Mile Walk/Run/Swim and/or Bike 2.5 miles a day for a year. I do this anyway. Next step.

• 100 Hours of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Mat Time – or EquivalentEach participant in the UBBT must complete 100 hours of Jiu-Jitsu mat time(approximately 2 hours per week). Ideally, each candidate would earn a blue belt or equivalent in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or equivalent. Hmm...neuro exam, or BJJ? Do you have to ask? Really, I would love to, and when I get out of this hell-hole known as chiro school, I will do that. The UBBT Grappling Coaches are David Meyer of Los Angeles, CA, BJ Penn of Hilo, Hawaii Sign me up! That's it. I'm going to transfer to school in Hawaii, and Cassio Werneck of Sacramento, CA, but candidates may use anyone (and there are a 1000 great instructors around the world) for instruction and ranking.

• 20 Hours with a Pro Boxing or Kick-Boxing Coach Ah, Batta is a boxer...sure, not professional, but it'll do and he certainly knows way more than me.

• 1 Reality-Based Self-Defense Course Each candidate must have training (no minimum time requirements) in a reality-based self-defense training program. Self-defense advisor to the UBBT is Bill Kipp. Tom Patire, Bill Kipp, Peyton Quinn, Geoff Thompson, and Tony Blauer all run programs acceptable for this requirement. Christ....I teach this shit. And in absolutely no circumstances, would I ever.....EVER fight a guy with a knife because I wanna keep my shitty wallet. I'll give him the wallet....there's no money in it anyway.

• 10 Public Testing PerformancesParticipants perform their final physical test performance (demo) in front of ten separate audiences, prior to the final UBBT event. Ah, again- issue with time. Technically, I do perform techniques in front of different audiences every 8 weeks- they're called midterms and finals.

• Complete the Full Body-For-Life Program (or equivalent)15 Minutes of Daily Meditation Written and/or Filmmaking RequirementsCustom Written Test RequirementsWeekly On-Line UBBT Journal Entries. Every UBBT participant is required to make a weekly journal entry Sweet! Done! on the UBBT web site Aww. A journal entry should be approximately 100 words long and chronicle the personal journey of each participant as he or she lives with the UBBT experience. Journal entries will be open to the public and may be used in articles or book projects.Oh shit. Good thing I used aliases.

• Achieving and Documenting 10 Personal Victories I wonder...1) go back to Japan 2) enter a food eating contest just once in my life 3) actually win a sparring event 4) actually enter a tournament that's not my school's 5)fit into size 6s again 6) adopt my own dog 7) move out of the dorms 8) get an A on...anything 9) pass all my classes this trimester 10) get my own car

• Team Requirements I'm not even gonna kid myself.

Additional Requirements

• 1000 Acts of Kindness- If these requirements were required for all blackbelts, I know a lot of blackbelts that should be stripped of their belts. I also know a lot of brownies that wouldn't pass. 2.5 acts of kindness a day equals 1000 acts in 12 months. All participants are required to perform and log 1000 acts of kindness. Seriously, if you have to log all your instances of kindness, you'd be...a desperate A student looking for things to put on his/her scholarship application. Whatever happened for kindness for kindness sake?

• 10,000 Acts of Kindness through Students and Community A UBBT participant must practice leadership skills in such a way as to inspire students and members of his or her community to engage in the acts of kindness program. I'm giving people that come to my test postcards as a thank you gift. I'm also the only person who's given (and will give) gifts of appreciation to my teachers for helping me. 10,000 acts of kindness in 13 months require approximately 25 acts of kindness a day for 13 months.

• Right One Wrong Each member of the program must “make right” one wrong they have done in their life. I skipped Gross Anatomy tutoring. I'm gonna go right it by going the second half of this trimester. The event to “right” is completely up to the tester. Testing for a black belt should be an experience that requires the participant to heal and mend issues and/or events from the past that, under different circumstances, he or she would have done differently.

• Mend One Relationship Gone Bad *sigh* do I have to be nice to Lazy girl?Every UBBT tester must mend one relationship during thetest that has been damaged by one or both of the parties involved.

• Profile 10 Living Heroes Each UBBT participant must search out and profile (in-person interviews are not required) 10 living heroes. The 10 heroes may not include family members, war heroes, or more than one student.Okay this I can do. It adds for good fodder to the blog, too.

• Memorize One Lengthy (100 words or more) Quote, Poem, or Piece that is Meaningful to YouThe quote “Mastery” is an example of a suitable piece –and participants may choose that one –or one that speaks to them. Done- The Jabberwocky. It speaks to me.

• “Mastery” can be found in the UBBT’s member’s only website.Seek Out a MasterEach candidate will be required to seek out one master (of any discipline in or out of the martial arts), conduct and interview and, if possible, study with him or her. What is this, Kill Bill?

• Empathy Training1 Day Blind, 1 Day Mute, and One Day in a Wheelchair I suppose falling sleep in Chiro. Research doesn't take care of the deaf and blind one...

• Reading Requirements and 4 other titles of your choice Awww....more reading??? *sniffle* After this trimester is over.

I hurt...boo.

I have a big toe sprain. On the left is a normal sized big toe. On the right is my sprained big toe. Notice that the sprained toe is 3x the size of the other one.Cool, right. So much for training.

Birthday Blackbelt?

So today was a productive day. I reviewed stuff for my test, did some throwing, and almost killed my big toe. Serious- it bent in two directions. Thank you, ligamentous laxity. Other than spraining my big toe off a tai-otoshi with Sarge, it was a good day. Batta got ranked in aiki, so he's no longer a bottom feeder in anything, and I got some badly needed training for my future ukes. It's a good thing...getting them away from the kids. Head Sensei says end of July is impossible, and so is beginning of August. I told him the end would be the best time, so it's looking like I have my black belt test on my birthday. Woot.

But Papa Smurf Always Says....

Nobody likes a Brainy Smurf. It seems like every institution of learning has one- you know, one of those kids who in grade school complains to the substitute teacher that she's not doing like the regular teacher, who grows up to be that guy on the assembly line who complains you're deviating from the manual even if the manual is a piece of crap? That's our Brainy Smurf, a freckled piece of useless brat who'd look real good upside down in a trash can.

In class on Saturday, Head Sensei reviewed him for rank. Batta and I are understandably peeved, but nobody listens to us anyway. I, meanwhile, had a review for the test, which...for some odd reason, keeps getting shorter. The time before, we got up to nijushiho, this time we got up to rohai-dai. Probably next class, I'll only review 27 movements. Bah! The good news is that Batta is now a yellow-belly, and joins Goth Kid and the other adult in yellow-bellied purgatory. I tell Batta not to be in a rush for orange, because Orangies are bad people. Take Brainy Smurf, for instance, who was an Orangie until Saturday. Now he's a dreaded Greenie. DEATH TO ALL GREENIES!

Oh, and by the way, Happy Sensei...

THIS IS THE HYPOGLOSSAL
THIS, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS NOT

Countdown to Hell

In my last entry, I referred to this time as purgatory. Now I'm starting to think this is a spiralling descent into Hell. Head Sensei gave me August as a tentative date, right after I am burnt out from school. So much for a vacation. He also told me that he doesn't have to prepare me as much as some other people...Lazy Girl, anyone?

Purgatory begins...

I always referred to waiting for blackbelt as purgatory, because you never know when you are going to be called up. So this is where I am in my karate training, waiting patiently for my test date. Head Sensei is giving me no clue, although there is an aiki clinic at the end of June. There is always a clinic, following a blackbelt test.

Doc will be testing for sho-dan in iai rather soon, and the Bevenvolent matriarch/dictator is working on sho-dan for aiki....if Head Honcho sensei doesn't change the book again. Other than that, nothing's going on, except for the fact that kids are pissing me off. Head Sensei asked sword sensei to review me, then he threw Lazy Girl into his care as well. SHE DOESN'T KNOW SHIT! She cheated off of me the whole time because she doesn't know vocabulary. She should never get to ikkyu- EVER. I expressed this view to Doppleganger and she agrees with me. I know...I'm just waiting...for them to ask me to help her with her junior rank aiki stuff that she should already know. Blah.

And there's this other kid....I call him Brainy Smurf because he butts in all the time with his innate (and wrong) knowledge. "Papa Smurf says...." I just wanna punch him and put him upside down in a trash can and watch his little size 5 feet kick in a fury of helplessness. Can't complain about rules when you're stuffed in a trash can. And then, there's Wheezy Kid. *sigh*....Not 5 minutes after Benevolent Matriarch/dictator told him to carry his bo correctly did he crash into the lobby divider. "Oops..." He says. Is there any room in that trash can?

One final note- I saw Big and Little T in the mall the other day. Big T is the same, but Little T is no longer little. He's taller than his father and looks like a beanpole with flowing blond hair like Leif Garrett. I miss those guys.