I have had a very long summer. In spite of the fact I was crazy enough to be in school all summer, I also have been studying for my test, which is now just four days away. I revisit my question that I have asked myself- what does all of this mean? Is it the measurement of confidence, or just a stepping stone? No doubt, one black belt does little to change your abilities or competence as a teacher, but the moment that black piece of cloth goes on.... suddenly the whole rest of the world knows what you've worked for.
This time is different. My family is actually excited at the prospect of me getting a belt in an art they actually can explain to their friends. Is this the honor part of it? It's no secret that my family, nor the little karate kids understand or respect the fact that I am already at blackbelt level in iai. Now, when they say "sensei", they will actually mean it. As trivial as this is, I can't deny getting a certain amount of satisfaction with that.
This week I've been drilling katas, self defense, aiki, everything I need for my test. I get the sense that there is nothing more (besides conditioning) that I can do. And pray that my family will actually wake up on Saturday.
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