Where are you, Peanut?

I think Peanut quit. He hasn't been to the last 3 classes (but then again, neither has Nerdverd). I hope he didn't because that would suck...and after I gave him a nickname. Speaking of nicknames, I bestow a nickname on that guy in iai and karate- cigarette man, bcause that's what he smells like. You'd think eventually I'd learn actual names of people. Hmm.

So other than that, I have been working on getting a purple belt and some sword stuff. I tried unsuccessfully to teach one of the little senseis the fourth kumitachi, but I couldn't remember the footwork. We finally had to break open three different manuals to find the right steps. I know I'm not crazy- I did just learn this one two months ago. Ah well. I work on #4 and 5, and I'm also working on bo stuff and my new karate kata, Saifa. This one is nice. The next one, nijushiho, is apparently quite a bitch. So I'm using the time now to clean up all my other katas so I can learn that one when I get to it. Too many katas. Josie brain is swimming.

Now and Zen- a Perspective on Teaching

Two weeks or so ago, this 10 year old, who I will call Peanut (for his shape, but definitely not his size), started iai. He was the first to join iai class since I made sho-dan, so I have pretty much been given responsibility of him. So far, I enjoy 1-on-1 teaching. Sometimes I think he actually listens to me. The karate bunch, on the other hand, need to be poked a couple times with a hot pitchfork.


It astonishes me how bad the kids have gotten recently. Normally, they do not push head sensei, but now they could care less. My mom's dog has more discipline- at least bribery with food works on her. This is made worse by the influx of white belts and the lack of adult blackbelt supervision. For the most part, the little senseis have been taking the teaching reigns- horrendously. The two, although are young, know nothing about the earning of respect and appreciation for others. Admittedly, I'm not sure I can do much better- but at least I know not to leave a 5 year old white belt in a horse stance for twenty minutes. I guess that doesn't bother me though, as much as some of their comments to the kids. They say stuff, first off, in a very snotty voice, and they expect way too much out of their students. Just because they were blackbelts at ten doesn't mean that a 10 year old greenie has the same skill or attention span. Plus, if the kid is a little on the chubby side, he's not going to be able to do a perfect pushup (as if any 10 year old could). With these things in mind, I really can't fault the kids for wanting to rebel all the time. It's just insulting for someone to do that to you, never mind the age difference.


I think in order to teach kids, there has to be an adult figure- NO EXCEPTIONS! That five or ten year age difference can mean a lot when it comes to knowing how to control your group. There are some in class that are nice, well-meaning, and do an overall good job with running the show when head sensei is busy- most of them black belts, but some of the kyu ranks too. Others, like Uke Killer, are freaking useless. Uke Killer spent a class flirting with purple belt girl while the brownies crawled the walls. Then when head sensei yelled at him, not the group, he was surprised. Well, black belt to me signifies that you have the maturity to do as you're told, not what you feel like.



So I hope Peanut stays, and I hope he learns good manners as well as iai from me. As for the rest of the kids- God, I hope Darwin's theory of natural selection is true.


On a (rather large) side note, this guy (I still need a nickname for him) who's been in our iai class for a while decided he was going to take aiki and karate too. I guess he bit off more than he could chew, because by yesterday, he was back to just iai again. We did pick up another aiki uke- a guy about 400 pounds. You know he's big when one of my karate senseis turns to me and says, "I have no idea how we're gonna throw that guy!" Eep, me either. I'm calling him Wally, although our Tank probably can't knock down this wall. Big T came back to aiki, minus Little T, whom I wonder if he quit. Speaking of which- that iai kid hasn't been back lately either (overscheduled tikes *grumble*). Big T brought in Girl T as well into karate, so now all that's really left is Medium T (who I hear is awful) and Mom T. I bet Mom T would be quite a fighter. I haven't seen Verizon guy in a while. Hmm.

Trapped in the Closet- the aiki version

I got my stripe on monday! The good news is, thanks to being in aiki, I have most of the requirements for purple belt already. I also purchased a sparring gear set, and learned two sword katas. All was going well this week. That was, until I went to the hombu with aiki sensei this week. We decided to go up there and get more help with the new techniques in the "red belt" section of our book. We arrived late, missing the announcement not to shut the closet door on the ladies changing room. I shut the door, changed, and realized I locked myself in. There was people pulling on the knob from the outside, and me tugging on the inside. All I could think of was, "I'm trapped in the closet". I thought if need be, I could kick the door down. Finally, someone picked the lock, and I mortifyingly started class with everyone else. I had a good time though. We worked on mostly kneeling techniques. My partner was very helpful, and freaked out at how flexible I was. I forgot his name, though- I'll call him Buzzcut guy. While I was there, I finally bought a new white gi top. No more holes

Bo knows pain.

As life as a greenie continues, I am once again reminded that my life is very short- perhaps, it has only gotten shorter as I plug away at that stripe requirement. I have now learned all the ten bo wazas, and have been practicing very hard with them. I found one of my dad's old walking sticks, but it pales in comparison to the one in the dojo. I need my own. Thanks to the low ceilings, I have hit the celing, overhang, and the balance bar they use for pilates at least a dozen times each. It is only a matter of time before I smack myself in the face, or knock out one of the stupid little kids who don't look before they run across the floor to get a drink. I tell myself, Darwin was so right. To wipe out a couple kids would not only be an accident, but probably a good way to thin out the stupider lower belts. "No, I swear- it was an accident. Look at it this way, sensei. He won't be running across the floor again."
I hope we'll be getting a new place soon. It's been talked about, but I don't know how seriously. I hate the place we're in. I'm sure whoever gets it after us will appreciate the redecorating of the ceiling I leave for them.

March of the Greenies

I am convinced they are out to kill me. Or put me on trial for murder. One of those two. The kids have been off the wall all week and the presence of several teachers is not helping. I heard head sensei utter the phrase, "If I hear anyone speak one more time, I'm gonna assign 100 pushups." Some of these kids complain about 10. This week, a six year old earned his orange belt. He was so young, he didn't quite have the knack for bowing yet. It was extremely cute, but I have to wonder what six year old is ready for that kind of focus.

So many greenies! The gaggle is up to 7. I noticed that every year around beginning of school year, attendance spikes and a gaggle of white belts comes in. Then, around January, they level off, and in May when the weather warms up, there's a big attendance drop-off. The big numbers are sitting in at white belt (currently about 9-10), green belt (8, counting me), and brown belt (4, sometimes 5- there is question as to whether 2 more will come back). Green and brown tend to be the dumping grounds- green being the last rank a lazy, insubordinate gremlin can handle without being bored, and brown being the big purgatory waiting for St. Peter to call you up to the front desk. Uke killer was a brownie, two stripes, from the time I started going to martial arts, 2 1/2 years ago. Kids lose interest so easily these days, and adults tend to let class be the first thing to go if their life changes. So it's verizon guy and me left to fend for ourselves within the mass of awful brownie warmup leaders and gaggle of greenies. It's a good thing we know aiki.