Rantings of a Sprained Ego

So I am planning to do a little more revamping on this site since my focus in life is really changing. I haven't decided yet, but I will probably change the name of the blog, as well as spell-check and archive the older entries.

I ended up spraining my left wrist thanks to a kid who just started, and is already trouble. First off- he smells. No way around it. Part of martial arts, especially Japanese ones I think- is awareness of self. If this guy doesn't have enough awareness to use deodorant, I can't image the other areas in his life. Anyways, he twisted my wrist a bit too much, going too fast as most new aiki students do, and I thought it was fine until I started hurting hours later. That's par for the course when you have EDS. Sword Sensei joked that about what was gonna happen when I got older if thsi is how much I'm being hurt now. Seriously, this is the guy who has diabetes, gout, and is going blind and deaf.  I digress.

Anyways, I am making new plans for a future in a suburb of Chicago, as I am planning to return to serious schooling. I have been poking around to find various schools in the area, and where I will be there is certainly no shortage. No kobudo schools or sword schools, unfortunately. Lots of Tae Kwon Do schools. I looked at some of the websites and I was both in sticker-shock and laughter seizures. Some of them were MMA wannabe schools. Some were schools where all the kids were a third my age (and since I'm not even thirty yet, I consider that a bad thing). There is an excellent school of aikido about an hour away, but htat's too far to drive, since I'll probably be in school late. My guidelines are this: 1) decent program 2) not over $60 a month 3) short distance away 4) not in a shitty section of town. Although the choices get better in the city itself, I can neither afford nor get to those places. I am looking at a place that teaches art form of ju-jutsu and muay thai, since I don't plan on ever competing that focus would be good. They are very different arts than I am used to, but I think it'd be good for me.

Originally, I was planning to go to a school where there is one of maybe 4 other places in the whole US that teach Toyama Ryu. It would been great. But it was WAY too expensive. I don't know if things happen for a reason, but you have to make do with what you got

One more thing: I got a new oar! Just in time for an injury :*( 

Never enough kata. Never enough cookies.

The past month of so has been a mess. With everyone about ready to rank and trying to prepare for tournament, Head Sensei is pulled in 400 directions. Everyone is training like they suddenly got a cattle prod up their butts. Normally about this time, I put up rankings of everyone so I can see what's progressed. What I have noticed is that people are dumping aiki and iai as if they don't need to actually practice these things. Head Sensei found this out recently, when he started testing people again. He was like "WTF" at the apathy.  Roo.

Karate

Snotshadow- brown, two stripes

Snotball- brown, one stripe

(what did I name this girl? Since I'm out of Dwarves, how about Apathy Bear...)- brown

Batta, boring kid, Goth Kid- purple

Pitbulls, Big T, Lil' Stein, some girl- green

Tiny T and Girl T- orange

A guy I'm gonna name Rubber Bear, two yellow belt kids... dunno them-yellow

One white belt guy.

Iai

Batta- ni-kyu

Pitbull 1 and 2, Brainy Smurf (I'm gonna re-name Freckle Bear)- yon-kyu

a guy I'll call Dr. Whiteshirt and Rubber Bear

Aiki

Goth Kid- ikkyu

Things, Batta, um....Bald Short Bear, Snotshadow- sankyu

Pitbull 1 and 2- yonkyu

Rubber Bear, guy I'll find out a name for later (if he stays)- mu

There's some new peoples I haven't pegged yet (some I hope will quit), and some that haven't been to class in forever. I'll have to see what is up with half of our class, as January tends to thin out some souls. Wheezy Kid has not been in (which is just fine with me), and neither has Sarge or her kid. Goth Kid has been very sporadic, and Head Sensei has made it clear he wants him to be passed in rank. But nobody's close. Which essentially means I have to continue with the highest rank kyu duties until somebody gets their ass on straight.  Iai is a mess. Head Sensei has finally figured out that when he goes on "holiday" so does everyone else. I have kumitachi 10 good, and I only have 5 more. I'd like to get all of them before the end of summer, since I don't know where I will be by then. I found out something scary- Head Sensei wants to prep me for san-dan. Urgh.

Martial moogling.

Sometimes I feel like a moogle. In case you don't know what that is, is a video game character that is cute and gives you items. Except I feel like someone whose job it is to give techniques and kata and act all cute and cheery. These kids don't know how lucky they are learning some of this stuff. I remember when I started aiki class that Applebee's Guy was an ikkyu. He started when he was twelve (he was 19 when I started). I never appreciated it until we started getting some rat bastar- I'm sorry, I mention little angels- in our aiki class. We have this one kid who won't EVER shut up, and Snotshadow won't work with guys (98% of our class). It's rather funny. Somehow I became the- "hey, what's that move?" sensei. I guess it's a niche. Just don't touch my pompom, kupo.

Renew the Roo.

Other than being totally broke, nothing much has changed. Head Sensei has been going on a renovation spree, and so now we have a men's changing room and a new paint job. Next we will be revamping the downstairs so we could have a kobudo class, which we never had room for before. So, life is okay now.

I have been trying to pass the torch to my kohai, as my sempai have done for me, but nobody apparently wants it. Goth Kid is our next in line for sho-dan in Aiki, and he (along with everyone else) doesn't study at all nor come to class on time. As for karate, it's tournament time so everything is at a stand-still. I started learning Seipai, but ten other people want kata for the tourney. Ugh.

The hardest part about recent event is what is happening with my future. I have to put school ahead of all else, and even those plans aren't set in stone. And then there is Batta. That's another matter entirely for which I don't want to get into. I have been at this school for almost ten years, and yet, if I were to leave in May like I am planning, it wouldn't take long for my impression to be wiped away. That's the law of the land, really, but it does make me sad.

I can only take charge of what I have control of, so I am attempting to fight my depression with kata and P90X. Wish me luck.

January Slumps...and bumps

Training has been very...um, strange? I have kept busy with kata and teaching. The attendance is starting to thin out again, which is good. Head sensei went on a refurbishing spree. He built up the male changing room, painted the dojo two different colors, and is making plans to build a studio space in the basement- all while class was in session. And he wonders how he ended up with stones?

I've been trying to nudge people back into being excited abou aiki and iai class. The aiki class suddenly has made the realization that two times a week is not enough for the class, and requested a third class, which Head sensei agreed upon. He also wants to have a weapons class. Wee. Other than that, people are starting to gear up for the tourney.

This is normally the time I make resolutions. I restarted P90X, and am already falling off the horse. I think I should stick to yoga and running.  I do need a job though. That's a good resolution.

Movies. Good Ones. Of the whole decade.

Batman Begins
Up
V for Vendetta
Slumdog Millionaire
The Dark Knight
Iron Man
Kill Bill vol. 1
The Wrestler
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
Lost in Translation
MirrorMask
Coraline
Little Miss Sunshine
I am Legend
Where the Wild Things Are
Sin City
Spirited Away
Wall-E
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Everything is Illuminated

My taste is weird, I know. I like kick-ass adventure as much as thought-provoking movies. Hardly any good martial arts films this decade- lots of BAD ones.

Oar you happy the year is over?

I am so happy the year is almost at a close. What a rotten training year. I was hurt so friggin much. I was sick a lot too. I am looking for a better year next year. I'd like to compete a bit more too, if the money situation improves.

I already have plans for the school's tourney. I am doing the same oar kata I did last year- hopefully with a better oar. I am pissed, by the way, that the eku has become the weapon du jour at school. Last year it was tonfa. Foobar is starting a kata with it. It is so big on him that when he did an overhead block, he almost tipped over. Anyways, I will do that, and I am learning Chinto, though I am not all that impressed with it yet.

I have simpler resolutions this year- a) get buffer by working out more and eating less junk b) practicing more with my weapons c) devoting more time to sword.

Back into the G-roo-ve

     In between finishing finals, and beagling around with my evil beagle, I have been doing a lot of thinking about teaching practices of myself and others. A kid- let's call him Chipmunk- told me yesterday that his older brother, who had just recently joined MMA, got his arm broken. Already- within two or three months of training. Now accidents are accidents, but what is sounds like is that the training partner was overzealous, and the brother wouldn't tap. Rule number one in submissions- there are no wusses, only idiots.It seems like their teacher forgot (or didn't bother) to teach control.  It's a big problem I find with kids. Now Lurch, who barely comes to class as it is, has always had a problem with controlling his power in sparring. Put a black belt on him, and now he thinks he's God. What he needs is a reality check in the form of a fist or foot hurdling into his face.

     The Things, on the other hand, need some kind of concept of time. You can't waltz into an hour long class 15 minutes late and expect to get anything out of it.

     *Sigh* sometimes I hate class. Ohter times, I like to watch idiots suffer.

My imaginary Letter to the Editor of a martial art magazine

Dear Editor,

       I am a martial artist, an instructor of martial arts, and an a self-professed scholar. I also happen to like mixed martial arts, primarily for the amusement of watching classically trained martial artists wipe the mat with "brawlers", and for the antics of  the "Ultimate Fighter" TV show contestants who should know better. I realize that, although my almost ten years of being involved in this world of martial arts is very short by comparision to others, I have been here long enough to discover some basic universal truths. One; there there will be as many schools and styles of arts as there are students to explore them, and someone's heaven on Earth is another man's Mc Dojo. Two; that no matter what style or school you decide to train in, in the end the one responsible for your growth the most is yourself. And three (and perhaps most naive of me); we martial artists have to stick together, especially in tough times like these.

       My senior thesis at college was on the examination of community relationships within the local martial arts community. In English, that means I studied how people in martial arts schools behaved. Although I spent a year bouncing between two karate schools that were as different as peanut butter and jelly, I found many similarities; highly structured activity, closeness within members, and a drive to create harmony out of chaos. The most striking aspect for me was seeing that not only did successful schools run like a well-oiled machine, they were also friendly with each other. We, the martial arts community, can in fact be considered a modern guild. We are different with a common purpose- to disseminate our knowledge, and to make money doing it. Unfortunately, several of our colleagues have chosen to focus on the latter part, and forgo any obligation to be nice at all. As a result, many of us engage in mud-slinging with our students (our "children" that we are supposed to be looking out for) caught in the middle, and as a result, many unscrupulous people are able to prey on them.

      Styles and schools within the same style have fought for years about everything from the right age to start training to what it should take to be a black belt. Lately, a lot of the fighting has been exacerbated by the rift formed between traditional and mixed martial arts, or MMA. Essentially, MMA started as a contest to answer the age-old question- what martial art is the best? The Gracies, a family of great martial artists and very smart businesspeople, rode MMA's wave to fame, making Brazilan Jiu Jitsu one of the most popular styles in the world. It didn't take long for watchers to realize that it wasn't the style, but the person who came out on top, and usually they were the fighters that were  the most well-rounded. Thus, the multi-style hysteria  is born. Nowadays, you are no longer considered "complete" unless you can fight on your feet and your back. This concept horrifies traditional martial artists. After all, how can you master a style when you are studying five all at once? The consequences over the last five to ten years have been incredible. For starters, students want more out of training- more conditioning, more classes, more...everything. Unfortunately, a student'stalent and work ethic often falls short of his zeal. They either leave because they are too schizophrenic with training, or they burn out. As a result, the attrition rate at martial arts schools is now sky high. 
  
     This attitude has developed the Generation Me phenomenon, encouraging new martial artists (especially children)  to demand that the style work for them, inside of the previous "how can I fit in with the style?" attitude of years past. As a result, many traditional martial artists blame MMA for their problems, but what it's really done is make us evaluate how we can compete in this changing world. Not all of the Me attitude is unjustified- after all, even the most pious of schools are out for a buck, and as such we student/customers ought to get what we pay for. Many old-schoolers have chosen to rest on their laurels and be unfriendly to schools around them, especially to the newer MMA schools. Instead of choosing to advertise our successes with students, we instead put down other schools. X style is not good, or Y teacher is crap, because only I know the right way. And wouldn't you know these are the same people who have not practiced or trained under anyone themselves for several years. The old cliche, "the fancier your belt, the fatter your waistline" is starting to hold true, and that scares me. We are driving our own students away by being stale.

    Bruce Lee was a major pioneer in the martial arts world- not because he wanted to prove he was the best- no, because he wanted to share his knowledge with others. He once said- "I am a martial artist first, and an actor second." He was not shy in admitting that he acted for the money, remarking in several instances that he was a terrible actor. But he hoped it would help promote his little nugget of truth- that a style of "no style" made the best martial artist. But many have misinterpreted this comment, believing he advocated quantity over quality. What he really meant was that to think that "this style is the best" or "this works well for this situation" would only serve to stunt your growth as a martial artist, be it one style you study or five. The best philosophy is to open your mind to many. This was not a new concept by any means. Several hundred years before, the great swordsman Musashi indicated in his The Book of Five Rings, that the only things of use where the things you understood. The modern translation would be that although BJJ is "great for ground game" it will be utterly useless to you if you suck at it.

     But what does this have to do with community? Well, traditional and MMA schools, I have written this plea to you in hopes that you will realize we are all under attack. We have been for many years, by people who are only interested in making us look bad and profiting highly off of it. Lately, these people are under the guise of MMA, even though their ideals are not even close. You might have seen them in your neighborhood. All of a sudden, thanks to television, more schools than ever are popping up offering MMA. Some of them are already established schools who seem to magically acquire cage fighting skills overnight. They offer maximum training at inflated prices and false promises that they can turn you into a fighter. There seems to be no limit to how low these people will go to steal our students away, and probably the worst of it all is watching them market directly to children. Let the buyer beware- being a member of a school like this will not help you become a professional mixed martial artist, won't teach you self-defense, and will hand you disappointment and an empty wallet.  The very usage of MMA in the title of these schools is a joke- teaching bits of several martial arts is not mixed martial arts. Those schools who cannot discern the difference between the sport that is MMA and a school that offers classes in different arts have no business using MMA in their school's title.  I find it pointless to offer MMA to people who don't understand that a match is not a real fight (as many teenagers and highly-testosteroned young men don't), or to offer it in a state like NY where competing in it is illegal, and you are several hundred miles away from any venue that allows it. That being said, many MMA schools should be sweating these fraud places. It is a black eye for the sport of MMA as a whole, much like a boot camp for anorexic girls is bad for the sport of gymnastics.

     We don't have to agree on everything. I think there is a certain beauty to that. Just look at how vast the world of visual arts is, where Van Gogh can exist with Warhol. There is plenty of room for everyone if we play our cards right, but we have to look out for each other. Stop bickering. Start becoming involved in the community that you are supposed to be supporting. If martial arts is to survive past this Me era, we are going to have to let go of our preconceived notions about how we run things, and get back to what's important. In the end, we teach martial arts for two reasons- because we love it, and want to share that love.

Regards.



  

Sometimes life sucks.

I am hurt again. I ended up twisting my neck in a real odd way two weeks ago and gave myself "spasmic torticullis", which sounds much cooler than "muscle spasm". I also had my bad rib out again, and as a result haven't been doing much of anything. I am very wonky to say the least.

Prior to that I had been doing really good at P90X. In 3 weeks I had worked up to doing 5 pull-ups and was just starting to get some definition when the thing with my neck happened. I was in a half-sleep two weeks ago and turned my neck too quickly. Pop. Followed by not being able to get out of bed for nearly 4 hours after that. So as a result, I cannot do much of anything exercise-wise until my neck heals. So, there pretty much goes my only source of serotonin, which is excellent timing- right around finals. Did I also mention I quit soda?

I completely understand now why a lot of people can't stick to an exercise or diet plan, when there is so much stress. I would just like to be able to do yoga again. I am very, very frustrated. I just have to wait it out.

Roo...a lowly holiday from martial arts

Things have been a mess lately. I've been under a lot of stress. School has been kicking my butt. And my interest in martial arts has been really dampened because of it. It's been difficult to even do little things martial arts wise- I have working on Tekki Shodan, not a complicated kata, but I'm just not up to it. So this week I have missed class, and I am just trying to reflect on how I managed to get to this point.

This past weekend, we had a guy run a grappling clinic. The guy was shaped like a bulldog. I think it went way over most of our heads. It is hard to pass guard without knowing what guard is. If we do this again, I'd like to start with the defensive aspects, instead of trying to do a banana split on people that are afraid to rub up against each other.

That day, Applebee's Guy showed up with his dad. He gained some weight and looked old. I had to remind myself he's still two years younger than I am. I had to wonder if he was thinking where he would be right now if he were still with us. Were there any regrets?  Maybe he didn't miss it at all. I guess that's what's been really bothering me. I have been thinking about leaving this all behind recently. I still will do martial arts, but I want to be somewhere else. Roo.

Roo! An Aiki sho-dan

Sunday was....how do I put it? Hell. Yep, it was Hell. But for hte first time ever, we actually started on time. Foobar's test was a lot shorter than I thought it would be, primarily because he's so small, he only had a 3 uke line. So things flew. Thank God he knew his vocab, but I don't put any faith in him remembering anything or staying long enough for ni-dan.

The baby ni-dan tests.....I seriously might kill them all. Wheezy Kid STILL can't do a back fall, Lurch kicked a kid in the face (and can't roll out of throws), and Frankenstein still wrestles instead of using...I dunno ANYTHING we taught him to do. I can't stand them, and hope they all quit. Soon.

My karate ni-dan test was much longer than I thought it would be, and I didn't get any comments about it. I dunno if that's good or not. Goth kid tested for ni-dan, and that was pretty uneventful.And then my aiki test came about. It was long, tiring, painful, etc. It wasn't the big fanfare that I was hoping, and I was rather discouraged when most of my critiques came out of things that were Head Sensei's fault. Stupid bobbles in reishiki, etc. It all seemed to stem from the fact that every other school that teaches aiki does so 3x a week, while we teach 2 1/2hours a week total. Shit.

So pooped.

The non-stop rain has made it impossible to get outside to practice, so I have been doing whatever kata I can fit in a tiny enclosed space. My main conern this weekend is my aiki test and keeping healthy. I hurt my toes doing my idori- probably because I didn't warm them up properly.So I have to be really vigilant about what I do with the balls of my feet. Stupid toes.

I did make this belt rack (finally) that I have been meaning to do for 6 years now. It's alright.

Pit Bulls are not vicious creatures :)

So a lot has happened since my last entry. We finally got the the testing situations straightened out, and we are all testing next Sunday. This is gonna suck. But some good things happened too. While I was practicing my aiki and my physics face (>:p) this month, a lot of people started flooding the dojo. Ah, the mid-September rush.This means lots of new meat,er, ukes. A lot of people got ranked too. Goth Kid got ranked in aiki and karate, the older two Pitbulls got ranked aiki,  another one (the one who called me Stitch) in aiki, Snotball and Snotshadow got ranked in karate (although I stress that Snotshadow got it first) and Lil' Stein somehow managed to thwart Darwin and get his green belt.

So yes, lots of promotions. And for me, I think this next weekend will be my last with the school. My grades as of late are suffering, and so is my body. Taking three arts is fun , but not very smart for somebody whose body falls apart at a whim. If and when I move to chiro. school (again, this time out of state) I will let my martial arts take the brunt of my lack of time management skills and only study one for maybe twice a week for the couple of years I am in school.

Enough of that. Here is (how we think) next Sunday is going to go:

1. Foobar's baby sho-dan test
2. Frankenstein, Wheezy Kid, and Lurch test for baby ni-dan
3. My ni-dan test for karate (the adult version, dammit!)
   
4. (hopefully) some lunch
5. Goth Kid's ni-dan test
6. My aiki sho-dan test

So Yeah, long day. I am projecting I won't be getting over until maybe 8 o'clock. Head Honcho sensei is nuts.

Questions asked by 14 year olds online...and my answers

1. Who would win in a fight between (guy a) and (guy b)? The better guy. How about (wildlife) and (guy)? wild animal. What if (guy) had a gun? Guy with gun. What about (dead guy) and (other guy)? Other guy, because dead guy is DEAD. But what if (dead guy) was brought back to life in his prime? He'd probably have better things to do than fight a douchebag like...make crappy kids flicks and make shit loads of money (Jackie Chan...)Okay but what if (guy a) and (guy b) fought, and one of them had a gun? Well, provided that said gunholder can successfully use gun without blowing own face off, the gunholder.
2. Should I fight this guy? Um...no. But he totally disrespected me. And...And I wanna fight him. Well you've already made up your mind to get your ass kicked, so why are bothering to ask?
3.  Is (art) effective in street fights? First, lemme ask you a question; what do you think a street fight is? Do you even know? Unless you are currently located in the slums of an inner-city, living in a housing project run by drug lords and your momma wants you off the street at every night at dark to avoid being a stat in the city's homicide count, then DON'T FUCKING TELL ME, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW, OR IF YOU DID YOU'D KNOW THIS IS A STUPID QUESTION! You wanna know what's 100% effective in street fights? Stay off the street.

 

Roo! A test date!

So finally after waiting...and waiting...and waiting, I finally found my test date for both aiki and karate. It will be the 26th of this month. I can't wait for it to be over. I feel ready. I have worked out all the bugs, and now it will be a battle to practice enough while juggling college.

For the last week I have been teaching a lot- mostly the upper belt juniors. I am trying to get them to hold themselves up to a different standard than that of an eight-year old child, but sometimes I think rich kids wanna be babies forever. Well, I know my rank sheet...clearly, that's all I need- or rather, want. It makes me wonder why so many of these same kids wanna do MMA. There's no ranks to be had. Oh, and by the way, MMA is not the same as hodj-podj. I'd like to tell that to the resident martial art mogul/idiot who opened up a children's MMA school out of a local bowling alley. *SSSIIIGGGHHHH!*

Okay, every once in a while, I like to write out my lists of pet peeves. So here goes:

1.  Children of the same rank and age rank the same. That one day of difference really doesn't matter. So if I catch another pair of same-ranked kids bumbling over each other to line up, I'm gonna punt 'em.
2.  You cannot learn new kata by watching. Ever.
3. Parents, stop dressing your kids. They needed that skill for kindergarten.
4. Sword sensei- little bites...little bites. Not whole sandwich. Not unless you're a hound.
5. If I see an unclaimed weapon, manual, or piece of sparring gear thrown carelessly onto the floor, I will follow the beagle property law- it's mine.
6. You are not above sweeping the floor...Snotball.
7. If class starts at 6, that means 6pm. Not roll out the changing room at 6. Not arrive at 6. Be dressed and ready to go AT 6.
   

Cute and Fluffy!

Today I was called by a friend "Stitch" for my ability do aiki rolls without a sound. He said, "Not calling you a little blue monster or anything." To which I replied, "But I am cute and fluffy." "Sure, he said without thinking. That was a nice moment. He got ranked today in karate. Aiki sensei came back from a long stretch away. That is very good. I hate having to lead class. Sarge and her kid have employed me for private lessons to get them ready for black belt. They are good students. I dunno how I will hold onto the "fun" of martial arts class now that I am going to school again. Ugh. We'll see.

Boring Summer

Nothing has happened really this summer. Batta is home for the summer break. A lot of people either quit or come once in a blue moon- I don't hold my breath that it will stay that way, though. Bailout left for Japan, where no doubt her world will come crashing down when she realizes she can't do half the things she thought she could. I can't wait to hear her complain about getting hit during her first round of shotokan full-contact sparring. We have been working very little iai. Sword sensei is sick, and Head sensei is busy with karate. Foobar, now t-minus 6 months to his black belt test, has suddenly figured out he's screwed. He has no self-defense skills, can't throw the kids closest to his size (all two of them), and the worst of all CAN'T READ HIS MANUAL! Apparently his mom has been reading it for him. It's past sad now. Oh, and after a 3 month hiatus, Wheezy Kid has made his triumphant return. Hasn't changed one bit. I might kill him.

Although I supposed to test for ni-dan this summer, that didn't happen. Head Honcho sensei was just too busy. Instead I will do both my aiki sho-dan and my karate ni-dan on the same date. Bah. It's been a fight to stay interested in martial arts, with all the adults checking out left and right.I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Summer of Schnauzer

I haven't been writing lately because I was in Austin, visiting my brother and his schnauzer. It was quite interesting, and I really enjoyed the time off. I came in to class Wednesday night, but wasn't feeling well. Hopefully, I will be back to my old self by Monday. I am trying to get my head together because I will be (supposedly) testing for my aiki sho-dan in a couple weeks. I'm still kinda bah about it, and my study buddy is busy studying for things that matter. It's times like this I wish I had a cute, cuddly schnauzer of my own. Squeak.

Unlikely Friends to a Martial Artist

1. Downy Wrinkle Releaser- for when you just don't have time to press your gi.
2. Moleskin- for stick-to-your-foot cushiness.
3. Febreeze- when you remember you forgot to wash your gi, and it's 10 minutes before class.
4. the perfect pushup bars- nice on your hands, and help you get in shape.
5. boxing hand wraps- better than "bag gloves"
6. travel sized nail clippers- for short nails as a common courtesy to your fellow gym mates
7. Rite Aid toe cushions- meant for bunions, they work as a surprisingly good toe splint, and did I mention they are cushy?
8. Sambo shoes- for those special sketchy-looking dojo floors/ petri dish for ringworm.
9. bleach + H20- hurray for disease control!
10. dollar store mesh laundry bag- for when $80 is simply too much to pay for to protect your gear.
11. Dixie Cups- why not?
12. Lidocaine patches- it lasts for 12 hours!
13. Travel size Tylenol- just because.
14. pens- because you always gotta write something down.
15. pilates weighted ball- because most kids wouldn't know the meaning of chi if it hit them in the face, a nylon weighted ball in their hands makes those shitty presses in their katas that they do a hell of a lot harder to accomplish.
16. cosmic brownies- when you're about to crash from low sugar levels
17. Tide pen- see #16.
18. tissues- because inevitably, your nose runs whenever some kid is tying up the bathroom.
19. a pocket calendar- for figuring out if you're working on training days.
20. more of #16 and 17.