Back into the groove

Ki is all about blending in to your environment, your opponent, nature. It is about the ability to go with the flow and roll with the punches. Ki is cultivated; if you leave it be too long, it withers like a plant. I have been having this issue.

To do aiki, or school? That is the ultimate problem. I can't keep going to school and missing class for four weeks at a time. I can't go home every week to go to class and not study. Ki, where are you?

An unfinished haiku...

Life has a funny way of putting things into perspective. For me, my difficulties in school and annoyances at martial arts classes have been dwarfed by the things my doppleganger is going through. It is times of uncertainty that remind us to always put our best foot forward and enjoy the moment. Enough of that.

So this week is all about getting back into rhythym. It is a nice change not to have to prepare anyone for any test in any class, though with the number of Brownies, this will quickly change. Basics- I love basics!- are back at the forefront. Someone ought to tell brownies they can't do splits first thing. It's bad for your muscles. Poor Tank tore his hamstring and is suffering quite a bit. The kiddies have been running class and that's fine with me as long as I get to work kata. I finally finished empi, and for as repetitive as it is, it is the bitch everyone says it is. There's a tai otoshi followed by a jump. Stupid little kids like it. They don't have ankles that roll.

It's Christmas again, and this year I didn't have time to get everyone presents so I bought a couple of items for the greater good. I bought an aiki book (in Japanese) for Head Sensei and a map of Japan for the kids to look at. Head Sensei is going to frame it and hang it up. That should attract Skittles and Wheezy kid for about 80% of class. Verizon Guy came home to visit while I was away at school (boo!), but says hi. Aw.

Today was my first three hour class in a long, long time. I needed it. I went through tachi-ai in ikkajo with the squirts (god dammit, why do I get stuck with them???). Short Sensei was there, and Sarge- they were breaking in the newest guy, which I honestly don't see staying.

Other than that, not much of note. Goth kid got his karate yellow belt. Frankenstein is a brownie now. Lazy girl is still a waste of space. Some things never change.

Be stealthy like Koala

Today was an interesting day. It was the first Wednesday that I had been into class for a long time. It was sparse- after all, it is the day before Thanksgiving. I noticed that Owl's little brother is now a purple belt (he can't be much older than 8 now).

I worked a little bit on my sai kata with my new sai (I forgot to mention that Head Honcho sensei brought me new sai on Saturday), and Sword Sensei helped me out a lot. I am still getting used to the pair, which now feel too light and short, as supposed to too big and heavy.

So class starts, with Doppleganger, Owl, and Freckles leading the way. Someone should instruct them not to create a 5 step waza for white belts. Skittles was having a rough day. He ended up in the corner for most of class. I was taken aside and Head Sensei told me to show him all the requirements for ni-kyu. Half of it was aiki, so we skipped those requirements and I did Tensho and my sai kata. I had a couple of issues with Tensho, especially with a particular press. He said it was like a part in Kururunfa...which, I haven't done yet. So after that, we do some basic waza work, and then I got my ni-kyu! Woot! I have a stripe on my brown belt. One more, and it's study time for that coveted black belt. Eep. Sword Sensei said that Head Honcho sensei couldn't wait until my test...eep.

Aiki class was pretty uneventful. We went through all the tachi-ai techniques in the ikkajo list. There is apparently yet another new aiki book, this time, the rank sheets have been fixed. Hmm. So here I sit, with my karate koala. I only have two katas for karate left; empi, and kururunfa. Empi is next, and it's harder than hell. Bring it on.

What a Weird Weekend...

Coming home to train this weekend suddenly made me realize that I have not been training well...at all.I was nervous for this junior test, although I am not sure exactly why. I think it is because I have more invested in these guys' staying on than ever. When I was home last weekend, Short Sensei surmised that I would probably be testing for black belt by about this time next year. NOVEMBER 2008- the Karate Olympics, with such events as kata, chain defense, and cookie eating. Okay, maybe I don't have to train so hard for that last one...

So Saturday rolls around. I didn't particularly want to get up, but I knew I had to. So I went, and it was mass confusion as usual, and Head Honcho sensei was late, as usual. The tests themselves were crazy. Freckles almost passed out as was doing horrible on one of his katas. As much as I like Freckles he probably should have failed. Half way through his self defense he lost it big time and Head Honcho sensei almost stopped the test. Then, Momma Freckles blows up at him and it quickly spiraled out of control. The rest of us just sit there with our mouths open, and I hear Sarge whispering to her little Greenie "Don't worry, Mommy will never embarrass you like that". Freckles's dad luckily had enough sense to stay out of it. Luckily, Head Honcho sensei was able to calm her down and the test continued. So Eraserhead did his test, and although it was considerably better, he was anything to write home about. Oh, and I had to uke because the tween-aged higher ranks were horrible! Horrible, horrible, horrible ukes! The whole self defense portion of both tests were giant wrestling matches. Three people (myself included) got smacked good. Freckles wretched my middle finger and Eraserhead kneed me in the back and gave me a big bluish present on my arm. Wheezy kid got drilled and spent the rest of the day crying (for once, I don't blame him). But they got their belts anyway...*sigh* Oh, I also forgot to mention that during this test the two highest ranks after these guys, Owl, one Fuzzy Head Twin, and Lazy Girl, got yelled at again (they were yelled at the last test for stupid behavior). Owl was on the mats, Lazy's phone went off, and that twin tried to volunteer to show that he could do something better than the kids testing. Skittles, by the way, sat pretty quiet. Autism, Shmautism. They should use the effort going into curing that and use it to cure Bratism.

So then, Short Sensei tests for ni-dan and I wanted to watch, but by then everyone is starving, so we head out to the Chinese Restaurant. I sat with Sarge, her kid, Dopplegagger, and Tank. Tank, by the way, is now a purple belt *yay!*. It was nice to talk with them- they are like old friends, and especially now with Verizon Guy gone, training is lonely without them. After that, the aiki clinic happened. I was rather disappointed to be honest. There wasn't enough mat space, and we didn't go over anything new- except that we've been doing nukite dori wrong for the last year. I was super tired too, and I didn't want to do anything after a while. When I got home, I felt exhausted.

So, today rolls around and I get up for iai clinic. Head Honcho sensei is late...again. We bow in, and realize suddenly, this is not going to be a typical clinic. Apparently Head Sensei and Head Honcho sensei had been talking and they decided that since Head Honcho sensei was down, that they would rank a whole bunch of people. Yikes. So the rest of us are working by ourselves, while Head Honcho's uchideshi runs back and forth between us. I spend most of the time with this sensei of ours, whom I will call Happy (for no other purpose than to assign yet another dwarf as a nickname), and we work kumitachi #5. Good practice, I suppose. I was able to steal sword sensei long enough to go over #7 *yay!*. Somewhere during there, the Benevolent Dictator and I talked with a perspective student about iai, trying to sound happy, but not so much that we are used car salesmen. She seemed more interested in aiki, though. It was pretty uneventful- except maybe Sneezy's minor sugar crash- until Head Sensei comes over to me and says "get your book". Get my book?! For what?

For ni-dan, apparently. After Head Honcho sensei looked at the kyus, he wanted to see the lower dans. I showed him what I knew, and he said I looked smooth...and a whole bunch of other nice things. He had Goth Kid come over and watch me do a draw. I felt pretty good about myself, until he asked me to show him my left handed draws. Yikes, they were bad. They were one of those things I didn't practice while at school. But everything else was okay. I even showed off my Katori katas. By this time, my hip was killing me, but I still had to do goshin ken fighting with (out of my own stupidity) Cigarette Man and Doc...at the same time. But, I did okay. So, Head Honcho sensei says to me afterwards that my ranking was "overdue". That was nice to hear. So now I am a ni-dan in iai. Odd, isn't it? So, here are updated ranks for iai class:

• Benevolent Matriarch/Dictator- yon dan (what about her husband? hmm)
• Happy- San dan
• me- ni dan
• little senseis- sho dan
• Doc, Sneezy, Cigarette Man- ikkyu
• Goth Kid- ni-kyu
• little senseis' mom- yon-kyu

Slap my gym pals.

The title of this entry is a palindrome; same forwards as backwards. I use this because I feel like my time as a martial artist is becoming linear and repeating. I feel as though the same instances are repeating themselves, if only in a slightly different direction.

I hurt my hip again. So, no serious martial arts for two weeks, which is just as well, considering I should be busy with school, and Head Sensei is busy testing two people at once...again (because it worked so well the first time). The little senseis, especially the younger one, have their nose up so far into the air that they can touch their butts (fighting over who technically has senority even though they are the same rank). The kids testing for black belt in a couple weeks- Eraserhead and Freckles- are following the eerily familiar pattern of cramming for their test (only to never be heard from again when they get their belt). Their self-defense is basically "use whatever I saw on wrestling the other night", and not anything they learned over the past 4-7 years. Are they really ready? Then again, they are testing for kid belt. Is it any different from adult? Only to the adults.

I am still stuck teaching the same kids who keep getting ranked even though their basics are awful. I had one of Punky's friends, Frankenstein, Owl, and Lurch. Sometimes, I thik that the middle ranks are a sick version of survivor; you keep gettign ranked as long as you stay on the "island". As a constant teacher, am I being honored or punished?

And where the hell are the adults? Where's Tank, and Cigarette Man? Where's half of the newbies? Every time we have a big attendance surge, the class ends up shrinking smaller than it was before. Bah. We do have two new people in our aiki class who look like they will stay- one I will call Surfer Dude and one I will call Thinking Man. That's nice, I guess. Now how about people around my own rank?

At the end of class on Saturday, Head Sensei apparently talked to my mom. She says he told her that he wished he had 100 students like me. Hmm. At least I'd have good ukes.

The Ticking Time-bomb of Slacktitude

I have been spending a lot of time at school, and not so much at martial arts. Today is the first Saturday I have spent here on campus and not at martial arts class. It's not necessarily a bad thing. I found out that Freckles and Eraserhead are testing for junior black belt in November so Head Sensei's time is focused on them right now. I thought it was strange that they showed up to a Saturday class. So basically me showing up just gives him another adult to watch the kids, and I don't need that right now. I can use this quiet time to work on my own stuff.

This past Saturday, I went to aiki, and it was the same old crap- teaching ikkajo stuff to people who can barely roll yet. I wish we could get back to the old stuff. I talked with a guy at the black belt meeting a while back about how his aiki class is run. They have a lot of upper belts, not so many sword peoples, so they are struggling with wakizashi work. he says they spend about half the class on basic techniques (which we rarely see, go figure) and the other half on ikkajo stuff. And they spend 5 minutes or so working their wakizashis. I wish we could do that!

In karate I ran into a new kid, who I will call Skittles. He's definintely autistic. He has no concept of space (or walls) and has some balance issues. I got him focused for about 20 minutes, but after that, he became unglued. I kept one hand on his shoulder at all times just to get a feel for what he was going to do next, like throw himself into a wall. Skittles is actually a bright kid and like most six or seven year olds, likes ninja turtles and a has a short attention span. I'd rather work with him than the fuzzy head twins or Punky or any of the other kids that give me crap. At least I get the feeling someone is trying to listen. You can't tell Skittles, "Do a horse stance" instead I say, "Sit in a chair" and boom- there is he is , in a perfect horse stance...for about four seconds.

Nothing's really changed in sword. People are still bumbling through the same katas because a) they don't practice or b) they don't listen. The little senseis' mom drives me crazy. It's like she doesn't have to listen because her kids are shodans. Right. And the kids haven't been to class lately either. Professional Mom and son are taking a break because for some reason, her kid is having trouble handling 4 AP classes...hmm...It'll be a long while before anybody is up for shodan again. Doc and Sneezy are falling apart physically, but they are next in line. It's really a battle to survive in our class, as attendance swells and wanes like a sick yo-yo diet.

Head Sensei, Sword Sensei, and I talk a bit after class about the state of things. I politely voiced my concern (and frustration) at the way certain techniques have been ignored in favor of learning the new stuff. Me, I actually need that stuff for my next rank, and I have nobody close to me to work them. I asked if it'd be alright next time if I could take short sensei (this is what I will call him until I remember his original nickname) and we could just work all this crap out for a whole class by ourselves. Head Sensei insisted on us taking Goth Kid, who just got his first rank. What the hell. He's got one whole set of ranks he's probably never even seen yet before he's up to our level. He needs to work his own stuff first- I don't care if he's the only good uke we got.

Head Sensei also mentioned that he wanted to "get me to nikyu"- which is a not-so-subtle hint that I have to get off my ass and make my katas look presentable after these blackbelt tests. It's nice to know he still thinks of me every once in a while, with the traffic jam at the brownie ranks. Wheezy kid and Owl are next (and what is wrong with Owl's mother? Taking a kid 100 miles for a karate class when there's 100 around your new hometown is just blatant "I just want the black belt")- but they are awful young. Wheezy still cries when he gets hit, and Owl is just awful. After that is Lazy Girl- she'll test when Hell freezes over. I'm next in line. Damn. They also mentioned how my ni-dan in iai is coming up "soon"- whenever that is, and I still had some time yet, but it comes up "sooner than you think." Eep.

In two or three weeks, no clue what day it is here), Head Honchi Sensei is doing the tests, plus having iai and aiki clinics. It should be good, provided the kids don't misbehave again (Owl, this means you). Last time, they were so cranky, and I don't blame them. It took 6 hours. Hopefully after that weekend I'll have a better idea of where I should be.

Same old training

Things have been hectic with school. Martial arts hasn't been too much on my mind, except all the classes that I am missing. Last weekend, I got to go home and go to class on a saturday and a monday. I had an eye doctor appointment on moday just before iai so I figured I would just go. It was nice to go during the week again.

The little senseis' mom has been saying she was making her own hakama and gi. Oh boy. Her uniform is bright blue....bright freaking blue. And the pleats are flared out so far on the hakama it looks like a ball gown. Anyways, I've been working kumitachi 6 and 7 a lot, trying to prepare myself for ni-dan, whenever that is. Head sensei says that I am doing really good.

I am a little concerned with midterms coming up, trying to keep the balance. Tensho is going slow, and I've worked my sai kata a few times. It remains to be seen how long I have until I need to worry about black belt. Tank's kid and Lurch are now brown belts too. I don't look forward to having to call them 'sensei'. I worked hard to stay were I am, and paid for everything. At the least, I want to test before them.

Bork...practicing alone....

School has been fun, but detrimental to my martial arts. It is hard to find the time- nay, the room- to practice. Nevertheless, I make it a point to practice one martial art a day if I can. Karate one day, iai the next. As for aiki, I can't very well throw myself...or can I?

I went home for Saturday class, and Dopplegagger and I did our Tensho and sai katas and that was about it. Just as well. I was surprised to see none of the little purple people-eater brats were brown belts yet. That's good...I guess. The adults are finally starting to come together. Cigarette Man is a yellow belt, and this other mom (do I have a nickname for her? Let's call her Sarge) is orange. That's nice to see, though I wish Tank would get closer to me in rank so I'd have someone to work with.

Iai hasn't changed much- except sword sensei is trying another warm-up to drive us crazy. This periodical practicing is going to drive me crazy. November 14th is registration day- I may be able to go to aiki class, and a week after that I get thanksgiving recess. Until December 14th, no more 3x a week. Bork.

Kusudama- a ball full of stars

A kusudama is an old Japanese ornament that goes back to the court days. It is a really pretty ornament that is made of several steps. 60 petals, 12 flowers- 4 clusters of 3 flowers each, 5 petals per flower. It is truly a geometric experience, and when looked at in this analytical way, it is easy to forget you are building such a beautiful flower ball. Such like a martial arts career, when that ball is you.

Over the past summer, it has been difficult to keep from being a little depressed. I have only been looking at how much work I have left to go, but not the product of my hard work. I suppose it's because martial arts is such a blanket of comfort that the prospect of leaving it for even a week makes me sad. But, I know I will be back again, and that I have a lot to be proud of. I'll be okay.

This past week- in between ending my job and getting ready for chiro. college- I have been working on a breathing kata called Tensho, or Sanchin to some. It's a slow, deliberate kata that'll make you pass out if you can't breathe correctly. I will practice it as much as I can. I also learned a sai kata in two classes. Damn. It is short but so involved. I felt dumb in that I would forget a move twos econds after Head Sensei taught it to me. That is itself was so nice. It is rare in karate to be able to get his attention, especially with all the brownies that are ahead of me. I know it was because I was leaving for school, and he wanted to make sure I had all my kata, but it was still nice of him to take the time. I did learn it all, so it wasn't a waste!

Things at school are in a strange state. We have yet to hit the school-time surge in attendance, and it seems that the class is beginning to shrink again. There is a record of 5 brownies; Eraserhead (whom I haven't seen in a while...hmm) Owl (who informed me today, despite moving away 90 miles, he will be back in October) Wheezy Kid, Lazy Girl, and myself. That's a lot for our small school, considering that when you become a brownie, you can make shodan within a year. Gradings have slowed down because Head Honcho Sensei has been sick. My dopplegagger has been away doing marching band, and Prince Valiant is no more. The little tike came in and picked up all his stuff and left without saying hi to anyone. No hello, no explanation, no thank you. Brat! I forgot to give him his tanabata ornament, so I am gonna snip off his name tag and give it to some other kid.

A lot of goodbyes have been said recently. Verizon Guy left for his new job. We have lost 4 of the last 7 new blackbelts last year. So understandably, Head Sensei was insistent that it'll be a shame that I just stop going. I won't. He gave me a hug as I left today. Odd...

I spent last night building a kusudama. I dunno why, but it even though it was aggravating I kept at it. It felt good it see the finished product, I guess.

yon, shi, shichi, nana

For the past few weeks, sword sensei has been trying a new warmup for iai class. It hasn't been going well. Basically, all twenty of us take turns announcing whatever cut in the happogiri sequence we are at, and counting to ten...in Japanese. Problem is, nobody can remember their vocabulary worth a shit. The sad thing is that Sneezy, Doc and professional mom and son have all done other Japanese arts before this one. How the hell do you get to be a black belt in Shotokan and not know how to count to ten?! I don't get it.

Shi is a funny word- it can mean "four" or "death". Shichi is "seven" unless you say it like half my class, "seechi". Oh, my ears burn. Nana is the other word for seven, as in nana-ju - seventy. Seechiju sounds like a cow chewing cud. Or my other favorite blunder- hashi, not hachi- hachi is the number eight. Hashi is a pair of chopsticks.

I started a new karate kata called "Tensho", or "Sanchin" to most other styles. It is a short, but exhausting kata. It's all about breathing properly. They ought to call it the Tomato kata, because it turns you red in the face.

Bork! The summer comes to a close...

Fast approaching is the end of summer and my free time. Wait- freedom from lack of intellectual stimulation, hanging aroung people my own age, and a job that monkeys could do?!? That's not freedom! Horray for chiro. college!

Anyways, I got my brown belt today! Horray! It is bittersweet for a couple of reasons. I am glad I got it, and with the amount of teaching I have be subjected to, it's nice to have something to learn again. However, it reminded me that I will not be in to class much after school starts. That means a lot of lost training time. I tell myself it will be alright- that not too many brats will pass me, and that I will make up the lost time during breaks. It will be much tougher to leave trainign this time around, now that the real fun begins at this rank. I was also reminded I no longer have Verizon Guy *sniff* to work with.

As for aiki and iai- bah. Aiki class is a mess. We are spending a lot of time on high ranked stuff and not enough on basics so we're ending up with a lot of bad ukes. They can't roll and they pull punches. And they're all younger than me now. What the hell. Iai is getting frustrating too. People are jumping up in the ranks that really shouldn't be. I have been forced to work with little senseis and their mom for the last month. The mom won't let me help her because she thinks she knows it all from watching her sons do it (an armchair sensei). The little senseis are seperating in height, and because the older one grew into the adult-sized bokken, the younger one wanted it too. Except he is a foot shorter. I had to teach them a complex kumitachi which I had just mastered myself and they are not having much luck with it. They are speed demons with weapons. Oi.

The bamboo has withered.

The tanabata bamboo shoots are still in the dojo- still with a lot of ornaments hanging off of it. The leaves have long since fell off, and the shoots themselves are starting to go. In many ways, this is a good analogy of how I feel. In a couple weeks, everything will be different. Verizon Guy will move away, the school-time surge in attendance will happen, and the wave of rankings will begin again. We are already experiencing the other two, and I am not looking forward to it all. But I don't have a choice, do I? We cut this past monday, and I didn't do that well. I kept botching my rising cuts- I sent one goza over a building. Not my best moment, and I was very cranky from work too.

So this week we have been reviewing things for people's ranks. In aiki, we have been going over a lot of basics for blue...patch thingy...and that has been a welcome change from the onslaught of ikkajo techniques (which are confusing enough for the highest ranks, let alone the 90% of class that are beginners). It will be so long before I can get competent for nikyu anyway, so I figure that review is pretty much a forgone conclusion. Karate class, on the other hand, I could kill someone over. We are reviewing this one kid for brown belt, who I will call Lurch because he's the most boring kid on Earth. You can only put excitement in this kid with 100,000 volts. It frustrates me that the kid looks like he never enjoys it or is awake and yet he's made it this far. Yuh, I can see the kids really fearing and respecting him as a teacher. But what can you do? So, this kid will jump me in rank and enter the brownie camp where the kids mouth off and never practice.

I have been reviewing a lot in iai too. Mostly, I am passing on kumitachi to others. I plan on not being around on mondays for class much longer, so I have to make sure everyone is in a good position to work on their own. The class has simply gotten too big, and I think it might be a good idea to start turning people away. It's getting to the point where there is no space to cut, let alone walk. And I've noticed the average age has gotten much older...and the average conditioning has gotten much worse. I remember when I first started, I was the oldest kyu rank there. Now, I am probably the median age. Doc, Professional mom, little senseis' mom, and possibly Sneezy is over forty. One of my karate senseis just started iai again is close to forty. Then there is this new girl who's just out of high school. Goth kid is fourteen or so, and so is professional mom's son. In fact, the little senseis are the youngest in class (and yet they are shodans, go figure). Prince Valiant is a lost cause.

I have noticed so many changes- most of them not good ones. I don't know if I am becoming more aware now, or if things are getting worse. What's making it so frustrating is that I will have to cut down my attendance to once a week after chiro. college starts. I want to fell more positive about all of this before I leave.

Happy Tanabata

Today is Tanabata- the star festival, which happens every July 7th. Today was the first time the holiday landed on a class day since I've been taking class, and I thought it was the perfect opportunity to teach the kids some culture. I think culture of martial arts is important because without it, martial arts really wouldn't be "art".

I have fond memories of this day. This was the first holiday ( it was the first week) that I celebrated in Japan, now 6 years ago. How the time flies by. I don't now if any of them appreciated the name tags in Japanese I made for them or the origami that went with them, but they certainly appreciated the candy. I bought Japanese candy from the giant Wegman's and made dorayaki with nutella instead of traditional anko filling. One of the fuzzy head twins was having a bad day- sleepy and just over-all cranky- when I told him about the nutella, he went from cranky to happy in seconds. The kids were told to eat AFTER they changed, but it was like flies to flycatch tape. I saw Owl sneak a few candies in the folds of his gi.

So it was exhausting, and I think I'll start much earlier next year, but it was fun. Today was a quiet day though- not many kids. The class is experiencing its usual shrink during the summer months. I found out Owl is moving away too. That leaves a lot of "wiggle room" at the top kyu ranks.

I feel uke. Oh so uke.

I heard today that Verizon Guy might be leaving. He got a job offer in another state, and it makes me sad. He is my training buddy and partner in defense against the kiddies. He's also a brown belt. So he will probably be leaving very soon. Another greenie is leaving us as well- I never mentioned him other than the time he got his orange belt and couldn't remember to bow to the blackbelts and shake their hands. He was a green belt with stripe. Unfortunately, as depressing as it is, the class is in need of a shrink.

With Verizon Guy gone, that makes me top uke. This makes me tweak. The techniques in nikkajo are brutal and so much fun to be the uke on *roll eyes*. Today we worked shitouzume (spelling, anyone?) and something else with the uke's fist spins in the palm of your hand. Aiki is still as frustrating as ever.

Karate....ugh. Today was a good class- 6 people. And they were quiet! *heavens open up, sunlight shines down* I worked on tatekatte seishin for all of it, in which sword sensei politely pointed out that some of my angles were wrong. AHHH! I've had this kata for how many weeks?! This is what I get for working with tween brownies. The dojo too is so damn small, I don't know how people do any kata correctly. Unfortunately, Target is moving somewhere else which means we are going to stay. Rats.

Iai made me feel better though. The katori shinto ryu kata work is really paying off. I was surprised that I did so well on my cuts in iai goshi. I will have to fix my kiri oroshi cut though for ni-dan, which may come as soon as this fall. Hmm.

Sprint to the finish....a concrete wall

Would people get over their rank issues already?! I am so sick of kids wanting to work on stuff way out of their rank requirements The greenies and purple people eaters have sucked the oranges into their quest for class domination. They have become so disrespectful that they will talk back and over anybody to make themselves feel important. But boy, do they want those next techniques for their rank! Suddenly, they need you again. Well...if I forgot a move because you're being a little bastard, I guess you'll have to study harder by yourself.

I am tired of teaching. It's time these new blackbelts and the brownies start cracking down on this disrespectful behavior. I told head sensei that the two twins were being jerks, and he nodded with a sense of normality. We had a discussion about the continued misbehaving and I suggested since pushups aren't working anymore that we give them a rag and make them wash the mirrors and walls. He thought it was funny and said it was a good idea. *Ka-ching, ka-ching* There's my two cents.


The other thing I can't stand is how people are being allowed to buy things that are not even in their rank requirements yet. It used to be you bought it when you needed it. Head sensei got a price break on stuff, and now everyone's got a sword, bo, hakama, etc. It irks me. I waited a year before buying my sword, and I waited 'til green belt to get my bo. Now, a whole slew of kids have bos now, much to the danger to everyone else. They fight over where to put up their weapon, which tells me they aren't ready for it. Then, they carry it horizontally. Can you say, loss of an eye? Even more irksome is the adults with money. Professional mom has a kaku obi and a nice iai top. The new girl in iai got to do the same thing. I got those when I hit shodan. So much for exclusiveness. Two kids that aren't even in iai or aiki bought hakamas. What the hell do they need it for? Just because it's there and they have the money doesn't mean they should buy it. Why not let them buy kamas and nunchaku while we're at it? Because it's stupid! Bork!

Bork! How the times change...

This weekend was my Doppleganger's junior shodan test. She passed, of course. It was one of the more decent tests I've seen this year. The little senseis passed theirs, too. So now, they have nothing to do until they are eighteen- five and six years from now *roll eyes*. I made them all hankos as gifts, which impressed Head Honcho sensei. Maybe I can start charging for them *cash register*.

Oh, the day before that, my doppleganger kicked me in the throat- accidentally, mind you, but with a fairly hard roundhouse. Judging by everyone else's reaction, it looked like I got shot. Head sensei looked me over in disbelief I was still standing. I told someone later that it was a lot like when Wiley Coyote realizes the boulder is about to fall on him and whips out an umbrella. Four days later, it still hurts.

So the test day was fairly fun. I talked with the adults, the teens embarrassed themselves, and I learned it takes 20 little lemmmings to move one five pound mat. Bork. I was happy to learn I wasn't the only one who has had thoughts of putting the tweens in a wood chipper.

Today, we have finally got our new rank in aiki- san-kyu, or stupid brown chevron patch thingy. I'll go with the former. We are through all the omote of ikkajo and most of the ura. Nikkajo is next. Verizon Guy also got his brown belt finally, and I am happy. Horray for adults! Down with Tweens!

Omote, ura, to kenkounashi (Forward, backward, and no change)

In life you have three options and two directions to go in; forward, backward, and stay where you are. The third isn't really an option, yet it's sometimes the most desirable. In aiki, the same is true. In the daito ryu techniques, there is omote and ura for everything, and we have been diligently working to finish off the ikkajo techniques. I think it's going well. Last night I had a dream I was cagefighting and broke a girl's arm with the ura version of ippondori. What can I say? I've been watching way too much Ultimate Fighter. I'm hoping after this next weekend of insanity comes more clarity and maybe even a definitive rank in aiki.

I have done a lot of thought after last wednesday when I got my stripe on my purple belt. I do no longer want to be concerned with problems involving brats. In the end, they don't pay for my classes, so they shouldn't ruin it for me. I want to concentrate on reviewing techniques from now on. Despite my miserable journal entries, things have been going well. I am now a yonkyu, which means light at the end of the tunnel. I know have approximately two years left before I go up for my blackbelt test, so I want to be ready. Given the fact that there are so many brown belts may actually work to my advantage. I can almost guarantee a couple will quit, and I won't have to worry about any junior ni-dan tests next year because doppleganger will be making the switch to the adult book, and Prince Valiant is lazy. So then, it is all me from now on. I want to help Verizon Guy get up to test too, sometime. If he gets attention from Head Sensei, I can piggy-back on the review sessions, which also means less waiting time for me.

So, push forward. That is the lesson. I don't want to be the same rank forever, and I don't wanna be stuck with all the kids behind me, either.

Postity post-post- a blurb of things to come

Well this week has been quite...interesting. We've been working on the idori and ushirodori techniques and I just about have them. Some still slip me at times, but I'm getting better. My senseis are enjoying beating the piss out of me. Every time I uke for izori, I feel like it's the calm before death. Oh...the bruises.

The kids were really horrid this week. One purple people eater gave the command "do 150 jumping jacks" during warmups, to which I replied rather loudly, "I'll do as I high as you can count in Japanese." Predictably, he farted out at about 30. Little brat. Then he says, "Do as many push-ups as you can." This kids can't do a push-up, let alone 50 which was where I knew he'd go up to. Barely bending your elbows is NOT a push-up. Grr... That's as much as I wanna rant about them for a while. It's bad chi for me, and I put their fate in the hands of intellectual Darwinism and karma. Sweet, sweet karmic kicks in the ass.

So today, a sensei that hasn't been around in a while showed up and we again had to review izori from the beginning. He didn't pick up too fast either. He seemed really confused on the why technqieus are different by way of kneeling or standing. Then karate came around. Thank God I missed yet another abysmal warmup session with Owl. This sensei took over and I groaned when I found out he was going over green belt techniques. Not so bad, until you consider green in a kid's book is adult equivalent to yellow or orange. Bah....so after going through those half-asleep and serving as the sensei's language dictionary, sword sensei steals me away for review of adult requirements *lightbulb goes on, symbolizing a novel idea*. Damn did I need that. Because of hip problems and mono, my kicks have gone to put. And I still can't jab worth a shit. Some things never change. But hey, at the end of class, Owl got his first stripe on his brown belt, and I got my stripe on my purple belt. Yay! A girl about college age joined iai today. We'll see how long she stays.

So now, that's where things stand. Coming up is going to be the summer from HELL! June 9th is my doppleganger's junior sho-dan test for karate. June 10th is the little senseis' iai shodan and junior ni-dan for karate *still rolling eyes*. After that, there's another in line to test for junior shodan- I call him Eraserhead. And this September my waiting period for iai expires and I may test for ni-dan. Bork to all of that. Just...bork. So seeing as how the ranks are rapidly changing, I thought I'd once again post everyone's rank.

Karate

• Brownies: Doppleganger, Eraserhead, kid I will call Freckles 'til a better name surfaces, Owl, Lazy girl, Wheezy kid. Number of blackbelt tests in 2007: 3. Number in 2008: 4.
• Purple People Eaters: Verizon Guy, me, four interchangable brats.


• Greenies: More interchangable brats that include Frankenstein, a pair of fuzzy head twins,and two blonde brats.


• Oranges: Punky and her friend, some other brat.


• Yellow: some adults, one kid.


• White: three kids of same family, that kid who likes the Wavemaster.

tally: (excluding bratty black belts and other senseis) roughly 30.

Iai

• Ikkyu- Little senseis.
• Ni-kyu- Prince Valiant (by act of God only)
• San-kyu- the two adults...let's give them names now...Sneezy and Doc.
• Yon-kyu- Goth Kid, Professional Mom and her son.

tally: (excluding myself and senseis) 8

Aiki

WHO FREAKIN' KNOWS???? I used to be yellow (hachi-kyu) patch but the patches ended up being an abysmal failure and so did the 10-rank system. So we went back to 5 but the stuff is all different and we have yet to be re-evaluated. I do NOT want to have to pay for this. According to the book, new stuff begins at ni-kyu, which is where Verizon Guy and I should be. But to my understanding, they want us to test at san-kyu which are the exact same requirements as for our yellow patch! What the Hell?

So sleepy and out of shape.

I feel doughy...again. I am struggling to return to the condition I was before I got mono. My poor midsection is all puffy again. Alas, I'm a marshmallow.

I feel so tired after Saturday's class. I met up with Verizon Guy, who for a change did not have to work the weekend, and we got the wonderful benefits of a double-block of aiki. Aiki sensei must have missed me, because he beat the crap out of me. We worked on all of our stuff for our next rank and it was good, I guess. I'm still sore as hell.

Thank god sword sensei didn't make the trip to the clinic. He took over class, and much to their shagrin made them do 27 movements. He told Owl to slow the hell down (hee hee). Those kids were so miserable, it was great. Unfortunately, he didn't do much for sword class. He talked...and talked....and talked....you get the point. We did work #5 and 6 kumitachi for a little bit, but mostly we just sat around. Bah.

Tomorrow will be the real test to see how I feel. Right now, the bed feels good...mm, squishy... Zzzz...

The Evil Stepsister

Why is it no kid has discipline anymore? I returned to class on Wednesday and to my shagrin, I was assigned to teach...again. How many brown belts are there? And why can't they teach? Oh, yeah- because they're brats. But I digress.

I taught an ensemble of white, yellow and orange belts who were, of course, all over the place in skill level. So, I ran them through combinations; rear to front stance, horse stance to front stance. Basic stuff, bork. After about fifteen minutes, everyone was tired and wanted a drink. It's funny when you release them for a drink...they vacate like bats. The sad thing is stamina seems to be better in the white belts than the orange. One in particular I'll call Punky Brewster kept rolling her eyes at me like I was being the evil stepsister. Sorry I can't let you eat chocolate all class. And another kid whom I assigned to help the white belts go over a kata she had for a long time forgot the kata and instead they sat around. Bork.

I still had better luck with them than my teachers had with the others. Stupid brown belts still don't know their kata which they've had for months. It's not like they are seven either, they're 10-15 roughly. It's like asking them to practice for five minutes on their own is too much to ask.
My dopplegagger is starting sai kata. I an envious, nyo. It's not in her requirements for junior sho-dan, so I assume she is doing it for competition. She missed the last one, so now she is trying out this on a bigger competition- where she'll probably get squashed by the likes of that professional jackass kid. Sigh.

Let's see what else I missed- one of the brownies got his first stripe, a kid got his orange belt, other than, nothing. The mother of the little senseis was prompt to brag about how the older one has started up yet another sport *roll eyes*. And then, there is the matter of class tomorrow. And guess who has to teach it? Yup, me. Aiki sensei may or may not be around, Verizon Guy will be working the weekend, most of the teachers and sword kids are going to the iai clinic at our sister dojo. I am starting to hate karate.

Mono-rific martial madness

I have to miss almost all the month of May because I have mono and gastroenteritis. Thank god I can eat again, because that was a real rough patch for a while. I am now battling with fatigue and exams, but other than that, I have no choice but to chill for a bit. I wonder what I'll miss while I'm gone. It's been about three months since the last string of promotions so I am highly anticipating one or all of the purple people eaters getting their stripe before me *grumble*. Phooey.

Bork! Where to go from here...

I don't know how to feel after the tournament. I've taken a couple of days to think about it, but I'm still frustrated and confused to the point where I'm seriously thinking about giving it up. Anyways, I guess I should explain why. The tournament was very long, and very draining. I rode up to the aiki clinic the day before with head sensei, sword sensei, and aiki sensei, and spent three hours listening to sword sensei talk about everything from trade shows to fish. When I go to the clinic, head honcho sensei did his usual teaching way too much in a two hour period. I was paired with goth kid, who just kept talking.

So then, the day of the tournament. My first event (1 hour into it) is all- kyu weapons division (18-34). I think I knew I was screwed when I saw there were red belts in our division and a kid with beautiful arnis sticks (they weren't tacky, either- nice dark-colored wood, unlike my pinewood arnis sticks). There was a girl from our system and my rank doing sai which pissed me off. We don't start doing sai kata until brown belt stripe. I should have brought my bokken and did anything except the only bo kata I knew. Needless to say, I was rather non-competitive. There were 20 people in our division- way more than normal, and of course I drew first. So now I'm really screwed. I got every score from a 7.5 down to a 6.2. This one judge gave low 6's to everyone who wasn't from his school, who he gave high 7's. I wasn't happy, I felt embarrased, and all I wanted to do was leave, but there were 19 other people to sit through. The other kids from our system did ichi-bo kata as well, except they did it with a couple extra moves in it and didn't do complete strikes. Me and this other kid were the only ones who didn't have cheezy tapered bos (if you're an adult, I'm sorry- use a full-sized bo). The sai girl wasn't all that good. A white belt did a nunchaku kata, forgot half of it, got stuck for five minutes, and still got low to mid 7's. As I suspected, the kid with the arnis was awesome and he easily won, getting high 7's. If all this wasn't enough, the competition was stopped twice for announcements. The only division time clocked in at just under an hour! Did I mention I really had to pee?

So, after that I bummed around for another 2 hours until my next event, the kata green-purple division (18-34). Now here was some really odd placements. I was glad to be rid of the brown belt, but there were still those two red belts from a tae kown do school that were obviously way more experienced than the rest of us. And there were this guys who were 34 (questionably) who were griping about being in with us. There was also a guy with a midnight blue colored belt (?)- I dunno what division he was supposed to be in. So here we are- I wasn't first this time, thank god, and here is another girl my rank from our system doing a kata she shouldn't have known yet. The guy who ended up winning was from my old school and did a decent version of heian godan (ironic, since I did that last year and got 4th). I thought I did really well, but it got low to mid 7s and didn't place. Furthermore, one of my old instructos walks by and says to someone "You can definitely see who comes from what school by how bad the stances are," as he glances towards me. What am I supposed to make of that?

Right after is the women's green-to-purple kumite division. This was one of the few glimmer of good things to happen all day. I went first again and drew the same girl I'd barely lost to last year- she went to my old school and had a big cheering section (karate is like a clique there). I knew I had to be aggressive so I threw a lot of kicks right out of the gate. We went 3-2 after a long fight, I finally won. Next was a short green belt who wasn't that hard to beat and I think I scored 3-1 against her. The semi-final match with the tae kwon do red belt was harder than hell. She was really tall and had a little more meat on her than me, but I tried to stay level-headed about it. She wasn't all that good and if I was better it would have been easy but I kept walking into her punches, effectively scoring on myself. Then, she hit me in the head, and the ref stopped the fight. He asked if I was okay, and I was down 2-1 and managed to come back strong. I tied her, and then, I couldn't put her away even though I knew I could! I must have scored at least 4 times but it wasn't conclusive enough. Then I walked in on a punch again and lost. Bummer. So right after I draw a short purple belt for third place. She was easy to put away, and I scored 3-0 on her. So, after all that I actually walked away with something. Bork.

So by then, I was tired as hell. Overall, our school really didn't do all that great. Wheezy kid (who has a baby brother who looks exactly like him-frightening!) got a couple of 4ths and Owl got a 1st and 3rd or something like that. The little senseis got nothing for the first time ever. They got their ass kicked all day by some professional kid who was about 17 and a foot taller than everyone else in the division. He won everything- kata, weapons, self defense, etc. When it came time for kumite, he kicked the shit out of everyone. Then, he drew a kid who was pathetically small compared to him. The crowd was like "Oh god" and for good reason as this jackass was a dirty fighter. The referee gave him a warning and he reacted by "going easy" on this kid by hitting a karate kid style crane stance and letting the poor kid shuffle into his impending doom. The crowd actually booed. It was the longest closing of distance ever. Then just as this little kid gets close, the pro tries to take his block off, misses, and the little kid kicks him in the head. Everybody cheered. Ah, there is a god. So the ref gave a warning to the little kid for a head shot and took a point away from the pro for unsportsmanlike conduct. So the next go, the pro is pissed off and drilled the poor kid to the floor. So much for light contact. So the pro got disqualified and the little kid won. It's only too bad he didn't win on skill.

Given all these feelings I had going into class monday, I was already on edge. Then, Prince Valiant decides to flex his 6" muscles. What a brat. Nobody respects him for the reason he puts down people and is lazy himself. He bitched about us not having good stances (keep in mind, this is an 11 year old) and gave my doppleganger 5 pushups with a cocky smile on his face. I wanted to hit him! And because all the adult blackbelts were late, the little senseis were running the show and all hell broke loose. And everyone is surprised at this? Something is going to blow here, and I'm afraid it's going to be me. I'm so angry at the situation. Why should I waste my money on this?

To teach...to bum...to walk your beagle

This week will be very stressful. Although the worst is over academically, the worst is beginning for martial arts. The new aiki sheets (edition 5) is finished, and we are all plugging away at the new techniques. It's all become daito-ryu now. We must learn all the ikkajo techniques omote style for our next rank, then ura for the rank after that. On top of that, Head Honcho sensei wants our reishiki to be perfect. Every move is like a little kata now. I like the hanza handachi techniques, but the izori, I could live without. The only thing about moves like hanmi-nage is the serious rugburn on your knees, and the havoc on your hakama. Then, there is karate...*sigh*. The tournament is this Saturday, and I feel ill-prepared to win any placements. I am hoping there aren't a lot of people in the 18+ green-purple kata and weapons division. Statistics will be on my side if I am right, and then I can feel better. If there are few in kumite as well, I will sneak in there and steal a bronze like I did last year (hey, experience, you know?).

I am trying to get some sort attention from head sensei, but there are so many kids giving him crap. Not only that, more than half of them aren't going to the tournament (the only one we go on) and we have yet another influx of new students to deal with. And for some reason, when there is an odd number, I am the one who gets to teach them. Not that I mind, I guess, I like teaching- but what are the brown and blackbelts doing that aren't going to the tournament? Nothing. They get to wander around and cause more trouble. I don't think that's fair.

Last class, we ran over in aiki so I missed half of karate, then I was assigned for the other half to teach two student two different katas. I got to review my katas for 5 seconds before being called over at the end of class to perform them for head sensei. He gave me some thoughtful constructive criticism that left me with more questions than answers. What if I hadn't chosen to do the tournament? Would he not say anything about those katas and let me continue to do parts of them wrong?

I am looking toward the future of my martial arts this spring and summer. The little senseis are testing for junior ni-dan *roll eyes* and sho-dan in sword, even though the smaller one has yet to move to an adult-size sword. My doppleganger is testing for junior sho-dan, and will most likely follow the pattern of never being seen again. After that, it is anyone's game. The rest of the brownies don't even have their first stripe yet, and are far from it. Verizon Guy might actually catch them. I offered my help for reviewing katas. Even though I know all my stuff for my stripe, I am pessimistic that I will get it any time soon. I am looking at possible ni-dan, as my waiting period is up at the end of September, but with chiro. college looming around the corner, it's dubious. I have my eyes on a tournament in July where I can perform sword as part of the traditional weapons division. The entry is steep, so I'll have to save up, but I really wanna go. I'll have to ask head sensei.

Bork! Kids suck.

I am getting extremely stressed out with school and martial arts. Right now, I am on spring break, which has been dominated by catching up on papers and training for the tournament. My hip is still a little sore, but I have been pushing it to get back into the swing of things. This frustration of not even being sure that I'm ready for the tournament is combined by the fact that the kids in the karate class are worse then ever. And the thing is, it's the same kids over and over causing the same problems, except now, they are at a higher rank.

The greenies are moved up to purple people eaters and now have a giant ego problem, and the brownies have all become stagnant and lazy. The former purple belt girl is now getting prepped for her first stripe, but (as expected) could hardly care less. Sometimes I think her parents hold a shotgun to her back and make her get out of the car when it's time to go to class. Wheezy kid is still staring up his nose in the mirrors when he should be doing something else. I'd like to know what he's looking for some days. And his partner (I'll call him Owl) could actually be good if he would stop getting yelled at. There's three more brownies- my doppleganger and two boys who I have a feeling are three-sport stars, but they don't factor in much (which is a problem in itself that I'll mention later). Then there's the black belts- the perfect children and the newest one, Prince Valiant (who apparently thinks he's been coronated king now) who just do their own thing in complete unawareness that greenies are climbing the walls every class. The greenies have thinned out a bit as a collective of crazies, but are still annoying as hell. They can't even stand in a straight line without trying to kill each other.

But now, I think after witnessing this week, I have finally figured it out. THERE IS NO LEADERSHIP. The black belts and brownies have all forgotten that "sensei" does not mean black belt, it means "teacher". It's a novel thing, unfortunately. They have become so obsessed over what katas and techniques they need for their next rank that they have completely ignored everyone behind them. A student is a mirror reflection of his teacher, as Zen would say. When the teachers fight, they fight. When the teachers are lazy and don't heed to etiquette, neither do they. So there shouldn't be such a big surprise as to why the greenies and purple people eater are so bad- they were taught to be that way from watching their teachers!

And it started out with just the little things, like putting the mats in the right place at the beginning of class and offering belt-tying help to white belts. Neglecting these things has led to mats NEVER being put out in time for class and orange belts not tying their belts correctly. That used to be unacceptable. Now there are so many kids that the one or two adults cannot handle them all, and the time used to be spend on helping people with techniques is now gone into babysitting kids who should know better. The competition between kids for the next rank is so fierce, they bump and push each other in line to line up by who's been ranked first even when they are the same rank! You never see same-ranked kids working together, and they are oblivious to when others are doing behavior that warrants 100 pushups for everybody.

It's time we get the "me" out of karate and develop some sense of hierarchal responsibility. Head sensei shouldn't have to worry about class behaving when he isn't looking, it should just happen. And it'll happen when the black belts and the brownies help out a little more in class.

Looking backward while stuck in first gear

It is cherry blossom season again, and as I always do on this time of year, I post a picture of cherry blossoms with my blog. It's a special thing for me- sight and scent are tied with strong memories of Japan (although I was never there when it bloomed), and how I miss the people I've met there. I keep a cherry blossom scent perfume around even though I am allergic to it.

The site of cherry blossoms at my Dad's workplace (and now on my mom's new tree in the backyard) also means it is once again time for the tournament. I have probably got to take it easy this year with my hip still healing- finally I am done with the chiropractor- and limit myself to the empty hands kata and the weapons kata. As I get up in rank, the number of competitors dwindles down but they get much tougher. As much as I want to do more, my hip won't allow me to prepare properly.

Alas, onto other matters. They changed the aiki book AGAIN! Head honcho sensei got so much grief from the other blackbelts about the new book that he went back to the old system- meaning, that now I will be going for brown patch instead of red. The karate class is beginning to finally level off, with the exodus of some greenies and white belts. One of Tank's kids quit, and so did a rather annoying greenie. Even so, a family of 3 (could be four, not sure yet if he is related) has signed up. The oldest is also trying aiki (let's see how long this lasts). I was in charge of them yesterday, and we went over things like the chamber, basic blocks, punches, and kicks. The two boys were trying to see if they could kick the Wavemasters over. I invited them to try (just as long as they had enough sense to curl their toes back so they didn't crush them). The oldest was trying to not miss the wavemaster entirely, and just my luck the little girl missed the baby-sized Wavemaster and kicked the plastic base instead. So I ran around for 5 minutes looking for the ice packs. The irony in this situation is I taught these guys how to be polite, bow, and listen to "matte" command and when I went to cross the floor with the injured little girl, head sensei told his two sparring people to stop repeatedly and they KEPT GOING ANYWAY! So much for etiquette and awareness.

This problem is nothing new. Finally, the teachers have had enough, and are refusing to give attention to anyone who disobeys. The "advanced class" that goes on during aiki has dwindled to 4 people. Rankings have slowed down to a halt. And some, as I have said, have left. Problem is, how do you fix a problem kid when he's already a blackbelt? *Grumble*....

I miss class

I missed three classes with my injury. It felt like a year had gone by. In the time I was gone, one greenie got his stripe and head sensei had been asked to do a demo at a school, something that we haven't done in years. So he and Verizon guy left as I came in, we chatted a bit, and that was that. I spent the class working 10 bo wazas with Tank, who had just gotten his stripe on his green belt too. Like everything in the adult ranks, he learned it in about a minute because head sensei forgot to teach him. So, we spent time going over the first 4 wazas. It was PAINFUL! I discovered I couldn't do any stance comfortably, but it felt good to move around. The Benevolent Matriarch/Dictator shared her discomfort with her new judo top, which is not female-shape friendly in any way. I remember when Verizon guy got his, thinking the stitching made it look like a bounty paper towel. Now I have it and, although it is sturdy, it drives me nuts. She and aiki sensei were also talking about how bad the kids have gotten over the past year. Thank god it's not just me!

So I have a hip sprain. I can't do aiki or kicks for at least 3 weeks. Although it's not so bad, it sucks. I'll see what I can do for sword when I go on Sunday.

Hurt pride, hurt pocketbook, hurt hip

I have had a rough couple of weeks. I am completely out of money, which means I no longer can go to classes until I land a job. Not that I could, anyway- I hurt my hip. I was doing nijushiho and I turned really hard out of a stance while leaving my feet planted, and I hear a pop. My hip went out of joint. I tried to limp through sword class afterward but to no avail. Now, I am biding my time until I can get into the chiropractor. This absence and lack of cash has left me depressed. I hardly have ambition to keep going now. Luckily, I have midterms this week- studying keeps me busy.

This weekend, Prince Valiant is testing for blackbelt. I find it funny that he is apparently so confident that he's only shown up to every other class for the past month. I'm sure he'll pass- if brown belt boy passed his test taking 30 minutes on his oral vocab section and hurting three ukes (one so bad, he was crying), then I'm sure he'll pass too. He's another I don't see continuing much longer after blackbelt.

I miss a lot of people. I haven't seen the T's or Peanut for almost two months. They probably all quit- got busy, lost interest, you name it. I miss Applebee's kid, the guy who looks like Matt Hardy (yes, I used a wrestling reference-so sue me. He was a dead ringer), and (I dare say) Nerdverd. None of these people I know well, but I miss them. If this time away teaches me anything, I guess it's that I need a life outside all of this.

I'm thinking about writing a letter to these people and to my teachers. I know I could never repay them (especially monetarily) for what they've given me. If I didn't get into martial arts, I'd probably be more depressed than I am now. What was that saying my Japanese teacher told me? "Even if the world should end tomorrow, I plant apple trees today."

The Traditional Value of "Me First"

Little kids need to be spanked. I think that would sound inspiring if written in Japanese on a scroll for Japanophile dorks to hang up. It's certainly not a Zen quote, but it illustrates my point. It's that wonderful time of year where many kids get promoted and a) get distracted by the 100 other events in their social calendar b) rub their new belt into our faces, even if we don't care. One former greenie, now a purple people eater, can't go 5 minutes without mentioning one needs this for purple belt, or telling the others below him (one of them his older brother) you're not as good as me. I resist the urge to give him an advanced rank initiation bitch slap and hope he sticks his own size 5 foot into his mouth. We already have done 200 penalty push-ups, but what good are those if kids cheat push-up anyway? But I digress. I want to talk about the "me first" group of kids for a moment.

It used to be a long time ago there were no colored belts. There were no ranks (at least, not ones conferred on by the military or by birthright). It used to be that you would meet your enemy on the battlefield, not knowing if that person was a natural killer or bumbling farmer, and you'd take your chances. You wouldn't dare make assumptions on the person's worth (you'd have no time to, anyway), and if you did you were dead. Safer to assume you could be killed by this person, so you do your best to live. Say what you will about the traditions of battle having no place in today's world, but here's one I think we should keep- mutual respect.

Fast forward to now. If you're an orange belt, you're a doo-doo head. If you're only a purple belt, you are eh, maybe okay. If you're a black belt, hey, you know everything. Sound ridiculous, doesn't it? Let's set blackbelts aside a moment. To even comment that rank determines how you should talk to a person is arrogance at best, at worst a direct result of how this generation of karate students have become a "me first" and "other people's feelings whenever" generation. I blame, not TV, video games, or even celebrities (although all three do a good job of throwing water on the grease fire), but parents, who only associate a kid's worth in karate by how fast he/she gets blackbelt. "What's an orange belt?" they say, "I can't brag to my friends about that." And it becomes all about them and "when is my kid getting the next belt up. Hurry, hurry, so he/she makes it to blackbelt before he/she gets bored!". And, naturally, kids pick up on this behavior.

So what we end up with is a purple people eater telling his still-greenie older brother that "I know that, duh! I'm a purple belt now!" Disgusting, isn't it?

So tired...bork.

I am very tired. I had bronchitis, so I missed a week of classes. I went back last Wednesday, and I could barely make it through aiki. Today, I was pooped at aiki, exhausted and confused in karate, and half asleep in iai. I explained that I was pretty much over it, but I couldn't shake the fatigue. My sword sensei told me to keep pushing fluids and eat. Mmm. Cookies for medicine.

I'm currently working on nijushiho (24 steps, or duplication of 4 cardinal points, depending on who you ask). I learned all the steps on Wednesday, and today had three people helping me on it. Kata is something you should stick with one person on. Listening to three people give their interpretations gave me a headache, and finally I had enough for one day. Hopefully, when I get better, I'll be able to concentrate.

Purple People Eating, and Being all Smart...and Stuff

It's the year of the boar, and I am a boar baby. Ironically, this pig looks an awful lot like my mom's beagle. It is supposed to be a year of prosperity, and so far, it lives up to that. I got my purple belt- yay! Woot! *happy Josie dance* I feel okay about it- I really didn't get tested, which was kind of a let-down, but at least I outrank the greenies now, and I can hold so kind of leverage on them until they all turn into purple people eaters.

I like it when I feel useful and smart. I had that opportunity at the blackbelt meeting up at the hombu. Pretty much all the blackbelts were there. It was cold, the floor was wet, and everyone had that "I didn't drink enough coffee" look on their faces. I got to stand up and suggest that a pronunciation guide be put in our manuals, so students could better study vocabulary. Everyone thought it was a good idea. I feel so smart *beem*. And, I am happy to report I did not lock myself in the women's changing room. After the meeting the three senseis I rode up with and I stopped at Wegman's and ate sushi. Mmm. Sushi.

This week I have been meaning to get out my sword, but the weather has just been too bad. Plus, I have had a lot of homework I keep putting off. But I did do something constructive today. I introduced a sensei's small child to sword class. She liked it. She was actually pretty good for a seven year old. Luckily, this sensei has enough mind to make her wait a year or two, when she actually has arms instead of stubs. It was quite cute though.

2 1/2 years and 50 Posts later- what have I learned?

To start, I have learned I need to make more sensible resolutions, like finding a job so I can continue to pay for class, and working on what has become a muscular-puffy midsection. My body seems to keep reminding me I'm not ten. I know not to cheat on penalty push-ups, but gravity says otherwise. Monday we did 50 in succession. When I was a bitty gymnast, I could easily do that, but then again, I was 10 and weighed 60 pounds. Ah, the good ol' days.

I have learned that there are some things I cannot change- bratty children, the amount of bratty children, time and space restraints- all of which can affect my ability to be ranked at any one time without actually concerning my ability at all.

I have learned that no matter how I keep my interest in Japanese culture lowered, some freak always emerges and reminds me why it's become so uncool. And not children- adults- sink their money into what they perceive is a culture with all the answers only to end up with a whole lot of garbled information, trickets they don't understand, and an unattainable dream of becoming Japanese.

I have also learned that, no matter what, I will lose something important I need for class. It happens whether I check my bag before leaving or not.

I think we've all learned collectively that the ability to catalyze change is next to impossible. Like correcting kids on their Japanese pronunciation. There is a kata called Honto no Inochi... which kids constant say "han-toe no nocky"- I dunno where they got that from- it's not even close, but heaven help you if you try to point out it's wrong. And the bowing to sensei as they come in and leave? They still don't have that one.

I've also learned there is a double-standard for kids who have sane parents, and kids who have psycho parents. The latter are always the first in their rank to get promoted, whether they deserve to or not. And then, when they sit at a rank for a while because they could care less about coming in the first place, their parents will start asking questions like "Is he going to get promoted soon?" blah, blah, blah. These are the same parents who make their kids stay after class to get help even though they don't need to, and it cuts into aiki class. And of course, kids learn this behavior and think it's acceptable. Dumb parents.

Lastly, I have learned a dog does in fact have buddha-nature. My dog has never entered a martial arts buildign and yet, when driven by the promise of food, can do a perfect armbar.

New Year's Re-delusions

Okay, so all things considered, it's gonna be a hard year (that's if all goes to plan). I desperately need a job. Not too much going on...I'm going to the head dojo for a meeting. That should be interesting. Goth kid started aiki this week. He has a bad habit of leaning forward. I can see it now- a black pancake on the mat. Haven't see Pot Smoking Guy or Nerdverd recently, or Cig Man, or the T's for that matter. This must be the famous January attendance slump. Unfortunately, there are so many little karate kids, it's hard to notice. Still, far too many greenies.

New Year's Resolutions

• I will try to be nicer to the greenies *grumble*.
• I will work on my sparring more.
• I will try not to let it bother me when a kid gets snotty (even if he does outrank me), or when Nerdverd asks for help on something he should already know, or when somebody destroys a Japanese word's pronunciation.
• I will try to maintain a reasonable body- that is, I will not allow my waist to turn into a marshmallow....mmm, marshmallows.
• I will look more rested (even if I'm not) for class.
• I will try to make a new friend.

Well, that's about it.

You do know you have a brain, don't you?

Not much has really happened as far as martial arts is concerned. I've been thinking about getting a job, and school starting back up. Verizon Guy earned his stripe, and that I am happy. We are in desperate need of an adult brownie to keep those little tikes in line. I'm also working on designing a hanko for certificate signing. I figure I'll need it when we have the black belt (*cough* Dan) meeting at the Hombu at the end of the month. It's looking nice, though it's proving to be a lot harder than I thought. Here it is:

I've been wondering about maybe getting purple belt before the month is up, but now it doesn't look likely- there is sooo many kids. Head sensei has a pattern for ranking- first he ranks the kids from brown belt down, then the adults. Then, he'll either pause for waza work or spend time preparing the next in line for black belt. It appears he's in a pause period- the question is what kind? Prince Valiant doesn't like showing up for class more than once a week, and spring sports are starting up.

On another subject entirely, kids are a lot dumber than they used to be. I'd like to think that I think so because I'm an adult now? No! Kids are just freaking stupid. I was asked the other day if swords could cut bricks. And I said, "Probably not, but when the sword bounces back, it'll definitely cut your face." The kid thought about it for a moment, unable to get the subtlety of my sarcasm, and turned to another kid, who upped the ante with "Yeah, I saw that on Youtube so it must be true." Sometimes, I feel like I have failed as a teacher.

I like teaching kids, though. They are fun, attentive for the most part, and learn quickly. Then they become pre-teens and ask "Why?" or say, "but Sensei X does it this way." And then, they become teens, and some time before that stage, all their intelligence is sucked away by TV, video games, and dumb films. I think kids have just lost the ability to stop and think before they open their mouths.